Stay With Me

September 25th

   When the blackness ceased, Lou expected the same orange glow to be warming the backs of her eyelids, but to her surprise, she found that her eyes flew open with ease. The world around her exploded into place, and she was so excited---and relieved-- she could've jumped for joy. She took in the sterile white room of a hospital, the I.V. dripping into her pale and thin hand, the tv on the wall that was quietly playing the news, and a woman asleep in a chair. Louisa stared at the woman, watching as her chest rose and fell steadily. She noticed the woman's dark brown hair, her young, pale face, the big green jumper she wore, and the jeans that were rolled up in cuffs. She had contorted herself to fit perfectly in the small arm chair, though she didn't look as if she were much bigger than the chair anyway. Lou stared at her with intent fascination; there was something about observing a person who didn't know that they were being observed. And there was also the fact that she had absolutely no idea who this woman was, and yet she seemed to be napping in her hospital room. Lou scanned the room quickly, to see if there was another patient in the room that she might've skipped over, but from what she could see without turning her head, it was just her. From that information, she gathered that she must know this woman, or perhaps even be related to her. She stared at the woman as she slept and tried to recall memories of the pale face with lots of brown hair, but all she seemed able to grasp were memories of rain. Lots and lots of rain.

   "Louisa?" The woman mumbled groggily, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands and sitting up in the chair. She stretched out and Lou could hear several of her body parts crack. She had big brown eyes that widened when she took in the fact that Lou was indeed awake.

   Lou couldn't bring herself to reply. Her throat felt dry and her mouth wouldn't open. Instead, she just raised her eyebrow fractionally. The woman got out of the chair, a big smile splitting her face in two.
   Who was she? Lou watched her curiously as she walked over to the bed and took Lou's hand. She could feel her touch this time, more connected to her body. Her hand was warm and firm as she squeezed Louisa's hand reassuringly.

   "I've got to get the doctors! And mum! Oh, mum will just have a cow that you're awake! Thank god, Louisa. Thank God," The woman said, bouncing up and sprinting out of the room. Lou stared after her, and watched as the door opened and then swung shut again. She tried her best to turn her head to be able to see outside of the room, but her neck felt stiff and her body wouldn't listen. Instead she waited.

   It didn't take long for the woman to come bounding back in the room followed by a frazzled looking older woman and an older man who held her hand tightly. They both had brown hair that seemed to be going grey in places and they were smiling. Behind them strode a doctor. He had a nice face, Lou thought. He was young with pale brown eyes and tanned skin. He smiled at her as she watched him.

   "Twenty days! That's quite the coma record at this hospital," the doctor said, walking over to Lou and taking her vitals.

   "Not much of an accomplishment! Nearly scared us all to death!" The older woman cried, staring at Lou as if she were an alien. Lou could see the glint in her eye and her fingers twitching as she longed to run to Louisa and hug her, but the doctor was in the way.

   "Yes, well, she's hardly going to be making a habit of falling into a coma, Josie," The man said, putting his hand on the woman's--Josie's--shoulder. Josie smiled, a sad sort of smile as if she wasn't entirely convinced that Lou was not going to fall into another coma.      The word took a moment to register in Louisa's mind. Coma, so that's what's been happening, she thought to herself. She felt odd and out of place--as if not only had she been asleep for twenty days, but rather twenty years. She felt like she was in a different era; a mummy being awakened from it's tomb and forced to pick up where it had left off living. Only, she wasn't sure where it was that she had left off, and she wasn't sure that her sort of living would fit into this new world. She was staring at these people, the man, Josie and the younger girl, and felt a tug inside of her, as if she should know who they were, but was unable to place them. It was like when a word was hanging on the tip of your tongue but you could never figure out what word it was, so you settled with one that had relatively the same meaning, but still somehow, felt out of place.

   "Why don't you give me a few moments with Louisa, to check that everything is healing properly, and then you can come back in?" The doctor said carefully, watching Louisa. The three people all looked as if they were about to protest, but the look on Lou's face must've been one they didn't recognize because, as if simultaneously, all their brows furrowed, and they left.

"Now, Louisa, how are you feeling?" The doctor asked, looking at her. She stared at him for a long moment, begging her voice to work. It felt like there was a lump in her throat that her words couldn't form around. The doctor raised an eyebrow and walked over to a water pitcher and brought her a glass. He placed it to her lips, not even expecting her to try and hold it herself, and waited until she opened her mouth. Her lips seemed reluctant to part with one another and it was like trying to separate gum from hair.

   The water seemed to send a new life through her, reinvigorating her bones and easing the lump in her throat. She drank greedily until the cup was all empty and the doctor put it down on a bedside table.

   "Shall we try this again?" He asked, and this time waited for Louisa to speak.

"I'm fine," Lou croaked. Her voice was hoarse and very scratchy. It sounded alien even to her own ears.

"Very good. I'm Dr. Graham, the lead doctor on your case," he said with a smile, pulling a chair up beside the bed and sitting down on the edge of it. Louisa just stared at him.
"Right, well, do you know why you're here?" He continued, looking at her with raised brows. Lou was suddenly very grateful that he had asked the others to leave the room because when she tried to remember, there was nothing there. It was like someone had dug into her mind and removed all but some of her memories. Sure, she hadn't been able to place who the people were and she couldn't remember her last name, but those could've just been flukes. This was not. This was a scary, vast emptiness. Like a large void in her mind where all her memories had been. Who were you if you couldn't even remember all the memories that had shaped you?

   "I--I don't know. I don't remember anything," Lou said, feeling her eyes begin to burn with tears. Dr Graham placed a hand gently a top hers and smiled at her.

   "It's alright, Louisa, that's to be expected. You were pushed into the middle of the street downtown London, where you were in turn, hit by a car. You suffered multiple broken ribs, a broken leg and ankle, a broken arm, and a very severe concussion that les to a coma. And now, it would appear, that you are also suffering some memory loss." The Doctor had a sad glint in his eye, but he remained professional, and only showed emotion by squeezing Lou's hand a little tighter.

Lou choked back a sob. She didn't feel as broken as she apparently was, but she felt wrong. This was not supposed to be her life, whether she could remember it or not.
"Will it come back? My memory, I mean," Lou asked, begging her voice not to crack. But it did. Her whole body and heart cracked. She was in a million little pieces in that hospital bed.
Doctor Graham removed his hand from hers and ran it through his hair.

"Unfortunately, Miss Clark, only time will tell."