Methods Beyond Magic

Making Tests With Apollo

At about six o'clock, when he was almost done with the first test, there was a knock on the door. Sherlock sighed, half expecting Dumbledore to want a word with him.
"Come in." Sherlock called. Thankfully, it wasn't Dumbledore, but in some ways, Sherlock almost wished it was. "John?" he asked.
"You sound surprised." John laughed, closing the door softly behind him and walking over to one of the desks, perching on top of it and swinging his short little feet.
"Well, I didn't think you'd want to talk to me, after, you know..." Sherlock muttered.
"Those stupid rumors? Please, I can't see you ever doing something like that." John laughed.
"Ah, what version did you hear then?" Sherlock asked.
"That you kissed a boy in the library, rather forcefully from what I heard." John shrugged.
"Oh, that's rubbish." Sherlock laughed.
"What actually happened?" John asked curiously, still with a large smile on his face, as if this were all so hilariously inaccurate. Which, of course, it was.
"You know that girl, Irene Adler?" Sherlock asked.
"Hateful girl, she kicked my mop and told me to use magic." John pointed out.
"You give her a detention?" Sherlock asked.
"I'm not sure I'm allowed to do that." John muttered.
"Of course you are." Sherlock insisted.
"Well, no, but I will next time." John shrugged.
"Anyway, she was flirting with me, it was disgusting, and she was really trying hard, as if I was going to ask her out or something, so I made up the only possible excuse I could think of at the moment. It's hard to get a boy to ask you out when you're under the impression that they're gay." Sherlock decided.
"I knew there was something off about the story. Of course, they'll get wilder and wilder, and then they'll fade away." John shrugged.
"It has to get worse before it gets better." Sherlock decided.
"Trouble is, I can never tell when the worst has come." John admitted.
"Well, it's pretty bad right now. You should see my classes, they're terrified of me." Sherlock pointed out.
"Why don't you just tell them the truth?" John asked.
"Because I'm playing dumb, as if I have no idea what's going on, and even if I did, how little it affects me. They'll turn my words against me somehow, I just have to sit and watch the fire die." Sherlock decided.
"That's a very smart way to solve it." John agreed.
"Well, that's why I'm a professor I presume." Sherlock guessed.
"And that's why I'm a caretaker." John agreed.
"Because you think you're stupid?" Sherlock asked.
"Well, I can only guess that there's a reason I'm not teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts right now, and that's probably because I wouldn't be able to produce a stunning spell myself." John guessed.
"That's rubbish, you're brilliant, you just won't admit it to yourself." Sherlock pointed out. John just laughed, shaking his head slightly as if Sherlock's arrogance was hilarious.
"I'm glad you have confidence in me." he decided.
"I do, of course I do." Sherlock assured.
"What's that you're writing?" John asked, leaning closer to see the test that Sherlock was making.
"Oh, just the dragon test, might as well wait until the night before, right? It's a rather terrible way to procrastinate." Sherlock decided.
"Need some help on it? I know something about dragons, I think." John muttered.
"Really, like what?" Sherlock laughed, leaning back in his chair and letting John do the teaching.
"Well, they breathe fire, you got that one down?" he asked.
"Well, that's always a common misconception of course, everyone thinks they breathe water, thank god you know the truth." Sherlock laughed.
"Maybe I should have your job." John agreed.
"What else do you know?" Sherlock asked.
"They can eat my face off without really trying." John decided with an innocent smile.
"Well, I'd think that their jaws were actually too large to eat just your face, they would probably take half your skull if they were being polite. I'm sure a dragon could just swallow you whole if they were feeling rather ambitious." Sherlock guessed.
"Is that because I'm short?" John asked.
"No, it's because dragons are enormous." Sherlock pointed out.
"Oh, right." John agreed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, his brown eyes looking out at Sherlock with an amused look.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Sherlock asked. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No, of course not. I'm just trying to imagine you freaking out about being asked out by a girl." John decided.
"Are you saying that it's a wild fantasy?" Sherlock asked.
"I don't see you as the dating type." John guessed.
"You're just jealous you don't have girls following you around." Sherlock pointed out.
"Are you the dating type?" John asked.
"Why, are you hoping I am?" Sherlock accused, leaning forward and raising his eyebrows. John blushed a little bit, but laughed, shaking his head.
"I'm just wondering if you've had a past." John decided.
"With girls? No, not really." Sherlock admitted.
"Then this is a nice contrast isn't it?" John laughed. Sherlock rolled his eyes; of course John would assume that being romantically pursued by seventeen year old girls was great fun.
"No, it's miserable. I'm not particularly in the mood to go out with anyone, especially students, but I'd rather just be left alone." Sherlock admitted.
"I can leave, if you want..." John muttered, now looking kind of awkward.
"As in, romantically alone. You're fine, you can stay." Sherlock assured.
"I can stay, romantically?" John asked.
"You can stay in this room, right now, with me...." Sherlock started.
"Based on what I've heard about the library, that might not be a good idea." John muttered.
"John, you make things so difficult!" Sherlock groaned, pretend got pound his head on his desk in annoyance. John just laughed, as if this was all a big joke he was playing.
"I know, I'm kidding, I'm sorry." He assured. Sherlock just laughed, shaking his head and trying to make up question twenty seven on the test.
"Give me like, three minutes to make this thing." Sherlock decided. John nodded, waiting in silence for about one and a half before humming some stupid song. Sherlock groaned, trying to block out his humming, but eventually humming turned into whistling, and then John started pounding the desk for back up drums, and Sherlock set down his quill rather aggressively on the desk.
"Do you mind?" Sherlock muttered.
"What, want some more ACDC? I know the lyrics too." John insisted.
"No, I don't want more...ABCD or whatever you just said, I want silence." Sherlock decided. "One more question to go."
"Alright, sorry." John muttered, swaying every once in a while and playing some air guitar silently. Finally Sherlock ended the test with a question about diseases dragons often have, and set his quill down triumphantly.
"There we are, the first test is complete." He decided.
"You still have another one to do?" John asked.
"Yes well, it's only around eight, I've got time." Sherlock assured.
"You want me to leave?" John asked.
"No, of course not, you're making this a lot more enjoyable than it would've been. If not a little bit slower." Sherlock admitted.
"You wish Victor was here instead?" John asked.
"What type of question is that?" Sherlock asked.
"A reasonable one that probably has an answer." John decided.
"Considering I'm about to make the test that Victor is eventually going to have to take for a grade, I'm very happy you're here and not him." Sherlock assured.
"So, if you weren't making a test, you'd want him here?" John asked.
"No, of course not. I like talking with you just as much as I like talking to him. You both offer very contrasting opinions and personalities." Sherlock decided.
"Sometimes I feel, in his shadow a bit." John admitted.
"Why would you feel that way?" Sherlock asked, mildly concerned about John's self-esteem.
"Well, he's an excellent chaser, he's brilliant, he's a great wizard, and he's a lot more handsome than I am. I mean, I can understand why you want him hanging around." John muttered.
"And undoubtedly have qualities that Victor doesn't have." Sherlock pointed out.
"Like what?" John muttered doubtfully.
"Well, I'd like to see him try to mop up throw up." Sherlock laughed. John just rolled his eyes with uncertainly. "And you're brilliant as well, and I'm sure you're a great wizard, but you're also very able to get by without magic, and you're handsome, and you make me laugh all the time, even when I'm stressed or upset about something, and I love having you around." Sherlock assured. John smiled softly, as if that was exactly what he wanted to hear.
"Victor, the other day, compared me to a muggle from Greek Mythology, Hyacinth." Sherlock muttered.
"Even though I know something about Greek Mythology, I've never heard about him." John admitted.
"He was, in Victor's words, the most impressive and beautiful mortal known to man. And apparently, he was loved by two gods, Apollo and Zephyros." Sherlock sighed.
"He's calling you impressive, beautiful, and gay?" John asked with a sort of doubtful laugh, as if not knowing what he wanted to believe.
"Yes, I suppose so. But it was the point about the gods that sort of, bothered me." Sherlock admitted.
"Why so? I mean, attracting a Greek God must be an accomplishment." John pointed out with a shrug.
"Well, there were two of them, fighting over one man, who Victor compared me to. So it only makes me wonder, which one of you two is Apollo, and which is Zephyr." Sherlock decided.
"Well, which one won?" John asked.
"I'm not sure. But I know that Hyacinth died as a result of the feud." Sherlock admitted. There was a rather thick silence as John processed the information.
"He thinks that you're going to die?" John asked in a sort of careful whisper.
"I don't know what he thinks, but I hope I'm not reading too much into this. Maybe he was just calling me impressive and beautiful." Sherlock decided.
"Either way it's a bit complicated isn't it?" John pointed out.
"Yes, I suppose it is." Sherlock agreed with a forced smile.
"Do you think Victor's gay?" John asked.
"This all seems to be a sexuality guessing game anymore." Sherlock decided.
"Well, do you?" John asked.
"I don't know. I don't know him well enough to make any assumptions, but either way, it doesn't make a difference." Sherlock shrugged.
"Well, if he is gay, then obviously he's not just hanging out with you because he likes your company." John pointed out.
"You think Victor loves me?" Sherlock asked with a laugh.
"Hey, you didn't see his face when you two were flying together." John pointed out.
"I was too busy writing my will in my head." Sherlock pointed out.
"With your arms wrapped around him." John added.
"Did he look...pleased?" Sherlock asked, rather worried.
"Well, it wasn't a face I usually see on a person when their professor is close to them. Then again, you guys were shooting through the air; I didn't really get a good look." John shrugged.
"Are you trying to turn me away from him?" Sherlock asked.
"Course not; I'm making you a bit more aware." John decided.
"You said when I first met him that it would be different if I had befriended a girl, well in the school's eyes, there's not a difference anymore. I suppose I'm bound to have to break it off anyway, to make sure there aren't any more rumors floating around." Sherlock sighed.
"Don't break ties because of a stupid rumor, they go away. Obviously you two are friends, and if you see it as a connection worth keeping, then keep it." John insisted.
"What if they start up a rumor and they make fun of him as well? What if it affects his career, his last year at Hogwarts? I don't want to destroy his life because I want a friend." Sherlock sighed. John looked a bit pleased to hear this, but he was obviously doing his very best not to make it obvious.
"Do what you think it right, I'm not going to tell you what to do." John decided.
"I know what I have to do; I have to make this stupid test." Sherlock muttered, looking at the clock and seeing that it had gotten later and later.
Alright, I'll be quiet." John decided, pulling together a couple of desks and laying down on them, staring up at the ceiling and looking rather awkward.
"What are you, Sleeping Beauty?" Sherlock asked with a laugh.
"Nah, I'm sleeping Apollo." John decided. Sherlock just rolled his eyes, but took advantage of the silence and started on the test. It was surprising how well John stayed silent, Sherlock was actually considering starting a conversation around question seventeen, just to break the rather awkward silence, but then he realized that a chorus of snores had joined in with the scratching of his quill. John hadn't been lying, he actually was sleeping. Sherlock shook his head in amusement, writing more questions before looking up once more at John, who was lying very uncomfortably on his back with one of his arms dangling from the desk. He looked so peaceful, not at all resembling someone with the destructive personality John had. But then again, he might just be showing off. Snape's words came back to Sherlock was he watched John's chest rise and fall, that John might be disappointed to hear that Sherlock was straight, was Snape just lying, or did he know something Sherlock didn't? Was Sherlock really Hyacinth, and were Apollo and Zephyros represented by John and Victor? Was there some sort of godly feud that was going down, a battle of resentment and love that ended up in tragedy? He couldn't help but wonder once more, which God did Hyacinth pick before his untimely demise? When Sherlock had finished all his thirty questions on Unforgivable curses, he copied both tests on numerous pieces of parchment and considered his work down. Then again, it was only nine o'clock, and he also had to do something about the caretaker sleeping on his desks. Should Sherlock leave him there, levitate him down the hall to his own room, or simply wake him? Sherlock decided that maybe it would be best if he woke him; after all of these rumors it would be a bit suspicious if he were levitating a sleeping John around the corridors at this time of the night. So Sherlock got up from his chair and stood over John, whose mouth was open a bit unattractively, a small trail of spittle sliding down his cheek. Sherlock was almost tempted to put makeup on him, or stick his hand in a bowl of warm water, or even just leave him there and take a picture or something. But of course, before he could do anything he might later enjoy, Sherlock poked John in the side a little bit gently.
"John?" he asked quietly. John groaned, closing his mouth and opening his eyes slowly.
"Sherlock, what, wait..." John sat up very suddenly, making Sherlock jump back in surprise. "Oh, ya, sorry about that." he muttered with a laugh.
"It's fine, some quiet was nice for a change." Sherlock admitted.
"Got that test done?" John asked.
"It's all ready." Sherlock agreed.
"What time is it?" John muttered.
"Only a little bit past nine, it hasn't been long, although it was vaguely amusing how deep your snoring could get." Sherlock admitted.
"Well, not really my fault, hereditary I suppose. My dad once snored so loud the neighbors called to make sure everything was alright." John laughed.
"I hope I don't have to go running down to make sure a troll didn't break into the castle." Sherlock insisted.
"I hope not. Then again, it's easy to think there's a troll in here with people like Snape walking around." John shrugged.
"You're not wrong." Sherlock agreed. John slid shakily off the table, getting to his feet and stretching out a little bit. Sherlock walked him to the door, opening it and leaning against the door frame as John lumbered out the door, yawning widely.
"You've got a little...." Sherlock muttered, mimicking wiping his cheek to show that John's cheek still had some droll on it.
"What?" John asked, still not totally with it. Sherlock just laughed, taking the neck of John's sweatshirt and using it to rub off the spit on his face.
"You nasty human being." Sherlock laughed.
"Sorry about that, also something I can't really help." John admitted with a guilty laugh.
"Ya, I'm sure you can't. Well then, get out of here; I've had enough of you Apollo." Sherlock decided.
"Oh, so you're going along with this as well?" John asked.
"Well, even though we don't fit completely to the myth, it's kind of nice to know that something like this has been done before." Sherlock admitted.
"A platonic love triangle?" John laughed.
"Well, then again, Greek Mythology isn't real is it?" Sherlock pointed out.
"That can be debated. I suppose it depends if you're an ancient Greek citizen or not." John decided.
"Are you an Ancient Greek citizen?" Sherlock asked.
"Not that I'm aware of, no." John shrugged.
"Then it's not real." Sherlock pointed out.
"So you're not actually going to die?" John asked.
"I'm not going to die, it's just a story." Sherlock insisted, walking him farther out the door to give him the hint that it was time to leave.
"Alright then, have a nice night professor." John decided, starting off down the hallway.
"You have a nice night too, caretaker." Sherlock agreed with a smile. John smiled back, and Sherlock heard some giggling behind him, seeing a bunch of girls obviously on their way back to their common room from the library, judging on the books they had in their hands. They laughed once more then they saw him watching them, rather defensively, and started whispering to each other. As they passed, Sherlock thought he heard one of them whisper "they probably already had a nice night", and Sherlock groaned loud enough for them to hear him.
"Come on, now it's him too?" he called. Instead of responding, the girls panicked, holding onto their books and dashing for their lives, as if he was going to jinx them or something. Sherlock just groaned, rolling his eyes and walking back into his classroom. There's the next batch of rumors then, that Sherlock and John had a thing. So he packed up all of his quills and parchment, walking to his room where Billy's cage stood empty. He was still on his journey to Sherlock's parents' house presumably, hopefully with a return letter. It would be nice to know what's going on in the outside world, not just in the walls of this very gossipy castle. So Sherlock changed into his pajamas and settled into bed, leaving the window open for Billy should he return, and blew out the candle next to the bed, leaving the moonlight as the only source of light into the room. It was surprisingly cozy, and as Sherlock settled into bed, he wondered if John was asleep once more, snoring and drooling in his own bed.