Methods Beyond Magic

What People Would Do For Money

Over the next two days, things had been extremely difficult for Sherlock. When he was just a student, his life didn't matter to anyone. They would laugh at him, throw things at him, call him names, but they didn't really care what he did in his free time, how he handled that pain. As a professor, it seemed that the things Sherlock did in the moment didn't matter at all; in fact, the students had been so fascinated with how Sherlock spent his free time that he had caught people following him through the hallways. Gaggles of girls would follow him around as he walked through the halls, he heard groups of students muttering to each other behind bookshelves, he even found what looked like an Extendable Ear under his door one evening. Of course, being the gentleman he was, he produced a loud bang with his wand, right into the ear, as to find the culprit. It wasn't a shock that the next day one of his more obsessive followers had a large bandage wrapped around her ear. It seemed like Sherlock had no free time anymore, people were so fed up in his personal life that he basically had to shut himself in his office to avoid detection, to make sure no one over heard his conversations. Naturally though, his eyes and ears around the castle were Victor and John, both of which had contrasting views on the matter. John seemed to find the whole thing hysterical, while Victor acted more like a follower than any of them.
"They've made a poll you know." Victor pointed out on a Wednesday night. Sherlock and he were both sitting in the office, the door closed and the curtains drawn, just to be safe. It was a bit gloomy, but Sherlock had made sure to light torches.
"There seems to be a new one every day. What is it, how long it'll take me to leave the school? Or, to acknowledge this torment?" Sherlock asked. "Or how about, how long it takes for Dumbledore to kick me out?"
"No, actually, although they're talking about making the last one. It's which student is going to be the first to hook up with you, except, Irene's lost the lead." Victor admitted. Sherlock was sitting on his chair, tapping his wand absentmindedly against his leg and staring thoughtfully at the door. Victor was sitting on the corner of the desk, making little sparks fly through the air as they talked.
"Who's winning now?" Sherlock asked.
"Well, I'm up by three galleons, five sickles, and eleven knuts." Victor said proudly. Sherlock just laughed.
"So they've got spies on the inside huh?" Sherlock asked.
"It's not like we've been very secretive." Victor pointed out.
"That's absurd. I thought the rumors going around were about John and I." Sherlock insisted.
"Well, I did say student didn't I? Word on the street is that every time those curtains close, John's on the other end." Victor pointed out.
"Then obviously they don't know what they're talking about. Rumors were never this bad when I was a student." Sherlock decided.
"They've always been bad, seven years stuck in one castle, people are bound to talk. I'm just thinking you've never been on the receiving end of them all." Victor guessed.
"I never gossiped when I was in school, if that's what you're thinking." Sherlock insisted.
"That's not at all what I'm saying. I think as a student, you blended into the shadows, you never heard the whispers, but as a teacher, you see every single student in less than a week, so you're bound to know what's going on." Victor insisted.
"You'd be right in saying that I never knew the rumors because I had no one to tell me them. And I couldn't spread them because I had no one to tell." Sherlock laughed.
"That's kind of sad." Victor decided.
"Is there any other drama then?" Sherlock asked. "Other than my nonexistent love life?"
"Well, someone caught Henry and Elizabeth kissing under the Quidditch bleachers, but other than that, not really." Victor laughed.
"How very scandalous." Sherlock laughed.
"Not nearly as bad as what they say you've done." Victor insisted.
"What've I done then?" Sherlock asked.
"You wouldn't like it." Victor insisted.
"Amuse me then." Sherlock decided. Victor sighed, leaning back and letting a multicolored sparkler whiz through the air around Sherlock's head.
"Well, I've heard all sorts of stuff. You and John sneak down to the Forbidden Forrest at night, that you and Irene actually have a thing, behind closed doors, that you managed to seduce Dumbledore just to get this job." Victor shrugged.
"All of those are incorrect, wildly incorrect." Sherlock laughed.
"If it's wrong, why don't you just put an end to it?" Victor asked.
"How am I to do that? During the Halloween feast?" Sherlock laughed.
"Class by class I suppose. I for one am sick of hearing these absurd rumors, especially when I know the real you." Victor insisted.
"Oh, you know the real me then?" Sherlock asked.
"I like to think I do." Victor agreed.
"What's the real me?" Sherlock asked with an amused smile.
"Well, I know that you haven't kissed anyone, boy or girl, in your life." Victor pointed out.
"And you're sure of that?" Sherlock asked.
"You told me yourself." Victor pointed out.
"I could've been lying." Sherlock debated.
"Were you?" Victor laughed.
"No. I've got no reason to lie to you. "Sherlock shrugged.
"Well, maybe you were trying to cover up how you really got this job." Victor laughed.
"Oh dear God, these just get worse and worse." Sherlock insisted.
"Do you have any intention to?" Victor asked.
"And intention to do what?" Sherlock sighed.
"To kiss someone. Have you got your eyes on someone around here?" Victor asked.
"Off the record?" Sherlock insisted.
"Of course." Victor agreed, sounding very excited.
"No." Sherlock laughed. Victor just sighed with a smile, as if he should've known that was going to be the answer. "Do you have eyes for someone?"
"Well, I can't lie, this place is teeming with very likely subjects, but at the moment, I've only got my eye on one." Victor shrugged.
"I could put in a good word. Five points extra credit if you go out with Victor Trevor, you'd be the number one bachelor in this school." Sherlock insisted. Victor just laughed.
"No, no that's not really how I want to get my first date." He decided.
"Lucky lady she'd be." Sherlock insisted.
"Ya, with five points extra credit, I could use some of that right now." Victor agreed.
"Why, you've only had a handful of graded assignments?" Sherlock insisted.
"Yes, but I didn't do as well on that test as I should've." Victor admitted.
"If I remember correctly you only got two wrong!" Sherlock pointed out.
"Two points that I really should've gotten." Victor agreed.
"You got one of the best scores, that test wasn't exactly easy." Sherlock pointed out.
"Then dumb it down next time." Victor insisted.
"What's the fun in that? You can't prove you're smart with a dumb test, it doesn't work like that. Maybe the first years' test would be easier, about dragons, but no, you're in seventh year Victor, the world awaits you, you need to prove yourself with some unforgivable curses." Sherlock insisted.
"Let me use one right now, for some bonus points." Victor offered.
"Ooh, if you do that the talk of the town would hardly be me." Sherlock pointed out, and Victor just laughed, keeping his wand down.
"Well, I was in your office at the time, with the curtains drawn." Victor defended.
"Yes well, could be remedial Defense Against the Dark Arts, to make up for those lost two points." Sherlock offered.
"Is that possible?" Victor asked.
"No, god no." Sherlock laughed. "You take academics too seriously."
"Well, for a good career, you've got to have good school work." Victor insisted.
"What are you planning on being then, when you grow up?" Sherlock asked.
"I'm already grown up. And we went over this before." Victor pointed out.
"Ah yes, the auror/quidditch star." Sherlock agreed.
"See, we went over this. Speaking of quidditch though, try outs are tomorrow night, want to come down and see me play?" Victor offered.
"I feel like, at this time, showing up to quidditch tryouts isn't really the best thing for my reputation." Sherlock decided.
"Clear your name Sherlock; I'll put a good word in the Slytherin common room for you, you don't have to tip toe around the student body, you're their superior! Start acting like it, don't take this rubbish." Victor insisted. Sherlock just rolled his eyes.
"I feel like I'm back at school again." Sherlock admitted.
"But you're not, you're a bloody professor, and anyone who taunts you, give them a detention, give them a week's worth of detentions, make your point!" Victor insisted.
"You know what? You're right, this is pathetic." Sherlock decided.
"There he is! The lion, about to roar!" Victor laughed.
"I'm no Gryffindor, but I'll say something in class tomorrow." Sherlock decided.
"Good. I don't want to be at the end of any rumors either." Victor agreed.
"I thought you already were? I thought you took the lead?" Sherlock pointed out.
"I did." Victor agreed.
"Who gets the money?" Sherlock asked.
"Well, I'd say the people that voted for me do. They split the fee." Victor guessed.
"How much is in there?" Sherlock asked.
"Oh, jeez, it's a full jar, got lots of galleons in there too, all those rich kids in the Slytherin common room, it's a gambling mess down there." Victor laughed.
"Say, I'll kiss you in the middle of the Great Hall if we can split the money." Sherlock offered with a laugh.
"Sounds like a win-win to me, let's go!" Victor agreed, actually making a move to get off the desk.
"I'm kidding, my goodness Victor, you can't be struggling that much financially to be willing to kiss some loser like me." Sherlock laughed.
"Alas, times are tough, money is scarce, I'm struggling for my next meal...oh, and the new Nimbus is coming out next month." Victor admitted. Sherlock just laughed.
"Priorities." He agreed.
"You wouldn't be that bad of a first kiss, I mean, it'll only set the school on fire, and since you're a professor I'm sure everyone would lose their minds." Victor decided.
"You sound like you've given this some thought before." Sherlock pointed out.
"No, course not, just, if I had to make a quick buck." He laughed.
"I want my first kiss to be perfect. I've been saving it, I suppose, for the one I know is the one." Sherlock decided.
"You think you've got a soulmate out there?" Victor asked.
"Definitely. There's a lid for every pot, even an old, ugly, misshapen little mug like me." Sherlock decided.
"Sometimes the lids break." Victor pointed out.
"Are you saying that my soulmate is dead?" Sherlock asked.
"I'm saying someone's soul mate could be dead. Not necessarily yours." Victor shrugged.
"Well, I hope that someday, I'll find him, and my first kiss wouldn't be wasted." Sherlock decided.
"Him?" Victor asked.
"What?" Sherlock asked, his eyebrows creasing in confusion.
"You said him, you'll find him." Victor pointed out.
"Ah, sorry. All of these rumors, it's hard to keep track of who I am anymore." Sherlock admitted.
"Are you gay?" Victor asked, his head tilted just a tiny bit in confusion. Maybe even hope.
"I have no idea." Sherlock admitted with a laugh.
"Fair enough." Victor agreed. The clock chimed, and Victor nearly fell off of his desk in surprise.
"That'll be your cue. Don't want you to get in trouble on my account." Sherlock decided.
"I'll be fine, the real threat for kids out of bed was Filch, and now with John in charge, I've got some wiggle room. I'm sure that caretaker is in bed by nine." Victor decided.
"As a professor, I must enforce the rules around here, no special treatment, even for you Mr. Trevor." Sherlock pointed out.
"Since when was I Mr. Trevor?" Victor asked with a laugh.
"Since I said you were, now off with you, don't make me give you a detention." Sherlock insisted.
"Detention would be fine if it was with you." Victor assured.
"Then I'll make sure it's on a day with professor Snape." Sherlock decided.
"I'm leaving." Victor agreed with a laugh, hopping off of the desk.
"Oh, and make sure to say something in the common room about all of those rumors being false. I'd rather like to have a good name around here again." Sherlock decided.
"It's not like you've got a bad name. In fact, I've heard that many of the students have changed their views on you, and instead of a terrifying predator, they rather think that Irene's path is a good choice." Victor pointed out.
"You're saying that I'm Hogwarts' number one eligible bachelor?" Sherlock asked.
"Good night professor." Victor said with a smile, and with that he walked out of the office. Sherlock waited until he heard the door of the classroom open and close before getting up and making his way to bed, some of Victor's sparklers still fizzing out in the air. Hogwarts' number one bachelor, that was a name he never had in school. But then again, things were different now, now he was a challenge, not just someone to step on. Now he was...favorable. It wasn't exactly a nice change, but then again, at least he was going to do something about it. These rumors, these absolutely ridiculous rumors, he was going to put a stop to them, once and for all. 

       The next morning, when Sherlock woke up, an owl was pecking at the window with the Daily Prophet in his beak. So Sherlock had to roll out of bed and dug out five knuts to put in the little pouch tied to the bird's leg, grabbing the paper and ducking out of the way as it took off in an explosion of feathers. Nasty bird, at least Billy got a bath once in a while. So Sherlock went down to the Great Hall, where it was still yet to fill with students. A couple of staff members dotted the table, none of which, Sherlock was happy to see, was Professor Snape. He really didn't feel like conversing with that snake again. So he ate his breakfast silently, drowning his French toast in syrup and scanning the crowd of students. Some of them, he noticed, hastily looked away when his gaze wandered in their direction, others were watching him shamelessly, and when he looked they would mutter something to their friends, and the whole group would stare back. This was just getting annoying, none of the other teachers got this much torment, none of the other teachers were faced with such taunts, so many rumors. But, then again, Sherlock was younger than the rest of the staff, and McGonagall was hardly being cornered in the library. 

"Good morning sunshine." said a familiar voice behind him, flicking Sherlock in the ear. He turned just in time to see John walk over to his seat, giving him a glare.
"Jerk!" Sherlock called, but he laughed, busying himself with pouring another cup of pumpkin juice. John smiled proudly, winking at Sherlock from across the table and loading some bacon onto his plate. Thankfully Sherlock was just about done with his meal, so he finished off the last bit of French toast on his plate and got up, walking around the other side in order to smack John in the head as he passed, managing to making the poor caretaker spill his orange juice all over him.
"Oh, come on!" John insisted.
"Payback." Sherlock laughed, and walked out through the rows to the staircases. Sherlock spent the rest of the morning in his classroom, waiting for the first of the fifth years to come walking in. He just read the Prophet, all of the crap they wanted to spew about muggle torturing and the quidditch cup predictions, it was all just pathetic. But then again, it passed the time, and the sparse bit of entertainment it brought was definitely worth the five knuts. When the first students arrived, Sherlock kept the newspaper unfolded over his head, done reading everything of course, but he didn't want to have to make awkward eye contact. So he just watched a picture of the minister walking around, looking very confident, while talking to reporters. Sherlock didn't like the Minister, of course, no one really did, but Sherlock thought he cared nothing for the good of the wizarding world. He only wanted the fame, the power that the position brought, and he had no intentions of lowering taxes or ending the feuds between London and foreign countries. There always seemed to be something going on, and minister would find a way to do something about nearly anything else. Sherlock sighed, folding the newspaper down to see the whole class, staring wide eyed up at him in anticipation. Most of the desks seemed to be filled, so Sherlock set the newspaper down on the desk and smiled.
"Before we start on our lesson, I think it's time I finally spoke out about the rumors that had been spreading throughout the school." He decided. The class burst into whispers, all of them muttering excitedly to each other. "From what I've heard, these little stories had been getting even more absurd every day, and it's time you all learned the truth. I have not kissed anyone in this school, not one single student, staff member, of either gender or year, and I have no intention to. I have removed myself from all romantic attachments to rid myself of the controversy that would've been sparked, and by doing so I seem to have set a flame bigger that I might've imagined. So, no matter what you've heard, said, or imagined, I guarantee 99% of it is wrong, so please, before you all start quivering in your seats because I merely looked at you, please consider that I am innocent." Sherlock admitted. The class was silent, some, he saw, even looked rather disappointed. But, he had to admit, it felt nice to get that off of his back, at least to one class.