Fire Will Burn (Sequel to Captivated by Love Alec/Magnus Mortal Instruments)

Seven: Time for Seperation (Part 2)

After the door had slammed I stand staring at it. I dont think it registered with me. My boyfriend of months left over something so stupid. Literally so stupid. Alec was stupid. I rolled my eyes in frustration and I grabbed the keys.

I didnt care if I was allowed to go use the car or not. I didnt care if i would be yelled at. Holly and I wouldnt be staying here anyway. We would be gone as soon as she got here. We could live on our own. We could survive. I earned enough money on my own. I had a steady income coming from Decha- my father.

For a man that didnt care about his kids: he didnt want us to starve or be without either. That much I agreed with. I could care less if I starved, but Holland wont.

I walked out of my room slamming the door behind me. I started walking down the hallway until I ran into Max.

"Where are you going Magnus?" He asked me with his little kid eyes looking into mine.

"To see Holland." I lied.

"Can I go?" He asked.

"No, but next time you can." I lied again and shoved past him.

I didnt have it in me to talk to anybody right now. I didnt have the heart to face him. I couldnt be mean to him. It took all I had just to talk to him. Max was a bright kid and didnt need me to stomp on his dreams. I walked down the stairs and out through the door. Izzy hadnt talked to me. I was thankful for that because I didnt want to talk to her at all.

His mom didnt get home till late so I was happy. I walked down the drive way to the car. I started the car and then backed out. The whole car ride I was pounding music so loud. I was driving faster than the speed limit. I think for once in my life I was angry.

Angry at my mother for not coming with us. Angry at my father because he turned me gay. Angry at my childhood because it was taken away from me. Angry at my mother because she didnt chose us. Angry at Sinecia because he was a horrible person to me. He was horrid. All he wanted was sex. He never once wanted a commited relationship. Angry at Renya because she was a female version of Sinecia.

Most of all I was angry at myself. I let all of this happen to me. Maybe my childhood I couldnt control. But I could control who I let in and out of my life. I did a shitty job. I let people into my life who wanted to hurt me. And I let them hurt me. I let them see the worst parts of me for it to be shoved into my face.

I let the pain from my childhood make me a soft person, when it should have made me a hard person.

Alec should not take me for granted but he did. He should realize what I am worth. He doesnt. He wont even aknowledge me in school. He wont leave his own little group of friends to hang out with me. He wont tell people he is gay. HE IS GAY! He cannot go around pretending he is not.

I parked the car and got out. I walked up the drive way and didnt bother knocking on the poor. Maya's mother stared at me.

"Where is Maya?" I asked.

"She just left with Alec." She said.

All of a sudden I just froze. Calmness came over me. Was I calm? No. I was so mad I felt calm. He left me for her. He wasnt gay, I should have known this from the start. He didnt want me. I was just an outlet. I was just a play toy.

I screamed and hollared and thrashed. I threw myself to the floor and flailed my arms. Maya's mother ot to think I am crazy. I felt crazy. I was mad.

How could he do this to me? This was not okay.

I was seated with the doctor in his office. After I had calmed down I went straight to the doctors. We went over discharge papers. We went over everything I needed to know about taking care of Holland. He told me that I needed to help her stand a few times a day. I needed to ice her back. I needed to do all of these things so at the end of the school year she can walk.