Love Sick : The After Story

Break Up

[Phun's Point Of View]

Throughout my life, I've only been deeply hurt on three occasions.

The first time it happened was during my high school years. My girlfriend Aim, the one I felt devoted to for life, had betrayed me. Those days were very difficult in my teenage years. I was at war with myself. I had found a part of me I didn't know and yet, I kept neglecting that part in order to become Aim's hero and protector. I wanted to see her happy, even if that meant neglecting my own happiness. So when I came to find out the truth of her unfaithfulness, I felt betrayed and pathetic. But despite the difficult situation I faced, Noh was beside me and so I was able to endure and move on.

The second time I felt hurt was when my parents turned their backs on me. All of my life, I had focused on becoming what they wanted me to be and on getting their approval. I studied hard, I behaved well, and didn't do the things that others my age were doing. I wanted to become someone they would feel proud of. Once again, I wanted to be the hero of the story. But when it came to my happiness, they neglected my feelings and thought only about their social status. To know that my happiness didn't matter to them made me feel very disappointed and hurt but even at that time, Noh was beside me and so I was able to endure it and move on.

However, the third time was the worse, because it came from the person I loved the most, Noh. Back at that time, I was not expecting it from him. But now when I think about it, I ask myself, how didn't I see it coming? Perhaps, I was too focused in my own feelings to realize that Noh was no longer happy. A thousand things were happening and in front of those moments, were just the helpless us. Each of us, with different thoughts running through our minds. 

I have to admit that I was conscious about what Noh was going through. I knew about it all and yet, I took a step back and didn't do anything to help the situation. At that time, I wasn't brave enough to come against my family. A part of me still hoped to keep them both, my parents and Noh, beside me. I was selfish. I didn't want to give any of them up nor make any sacrifice. I wanted to prove my family that no matter what they did, it would be useless as Noh would remain beside me. And for that reason, I ignored Noh's feelings and watched as he was getting destroyed. I even thought it was convenient. While my parents were too distracted on how to make Noh's life miserable, I could look for a way to break free without making any sacrifices. I wanted to be the hero of the story, once again. But when Noh couldn't endure the pain anymore, I blamed him about everything. What a heartless hero.

That painful night is still graved to my mind.

The night when Noh broke free from the hell that I had brought him.

I remember how happy I was when I received a text message from Noh that day. For the first time in months, Noh had taken the initiative to ask me out on a date. I felt extremely happy and accepted instantly, completely oblivious to his true motives. Without a concern in mind, I made my way to his house after school. Noh's behavior was normal for the first half of the day or at least, what I saw as "normal". But if only I had paid closer attention, I would've seen all of the signs that tried to alert me that this was the end. We watched a comedy film in the theater and then went for dinner. Everything seemed perfect. Almost too perfect, actually. We were talking, laughing, holding hands and he even allowed to call him "babe". To make it better, we weren't being followed like in our past dates. I found it a little bit off but ignored all of these facts. Ignoring, ignoring, like always..