Love Sick : The After Story

Happy Family

[Phun's Point Of View]

As Noh stares at Kai's figure growing further and further until it turns around a corner and disappears, I feel the anxiety from before return to me. I continue gazing at the empty corridor in front in silence, waiting for him to speak, but the seconds pass and he remains silence. At this moment I have no idea what is happening inside of his mind, and I'm too afraid to look him in the face. Is he working up the courage to break up with me? Looking for the right words, those that will hurt me less, and finding the appropriate moment to speak them?

If you are planning to say it, this is your chance, Noh.

Break my heart already. Throw all of our years together in the trash can.

Or are you planning to take me out, sugar coat the moment and then end it again like last time?

Before I realize it, my hands are forming a fist as the anger arises within me at the memory. But as the darkness wraps me up in a load of negative thoughts, a warm hand reaches mine, easing the tension that had build up. "Are you ready to go?" The owner finally speaks, his voice soft and tender with no sign of shame or fear of being seen holding another's man hand. Nodding my head slowly, I watch him smile before starting his pace, pulling me along.   

As we walk along the empty corridor, I remain silent and concentrate on watching him closely. He is holding my hand with conviction and smiling carelessly, as if there was nothing to worry about, as if I hadn't made him cry just last night. He was like this that night too, I remember well. He allowed me to hold his hand and we laughed carelessly as the movie played at the theater. Without a care in the world. As if the world was a perfect place to be. As if my parents hadn't done him wrong. As if everything was perfectly fine. He laughed till tears that night. I can remember the tears that streamed down his cheeks as he laughed, and the people that turned to give him odd looks, some of them hushing him down.  I remember wondering why he was laughing so hard. The movie wasn't even that funny. But now when I think about it, I understand what was happening. He was breaking apart.

"I see that you are still friends with Kai." He says, bringing me back from my thoughts. "I am glad. He seems to be a nice guy. You really need more friends, you know. Someone to talk to about your emotions when I am not there." He continues ranting and I watch him in silence, wondering why would I need someone to talk to when I had him.

"Oh, should I? But won't that make you jealous?" I decide to joke a little to see him react and watch as his smile becomes wider. "It won't." He says confidently, making my heart ache a little. Shouldn't he be a little jealous over me? At least a little bit? I would be jealous for sure if he were to have a close friend. (Ohm being an exclusion, of course.) Suddenly, he turns to look at me with a raised eyebrow, his finger pointing at me and landing over my nose. "As long as you only see him as a friend, of course!" He says in a booming voice, making me widen my eyes. 

"But if you were to start seeing him as something more than a friend, then I'll definitely feel jealous." He turns to look in front and continues as I am still trying to digest his last words. "And if you cheat on me, I will cut your balls." He adds in a threatening voice, without fear of being watched or heard. Despite that sentence being a threat, my heart thumps in joy and a smile forms in my face as I slowly begin to relax. He seemed normal. He couldn't be thinking of ending it all. He just couldn't, right?

"So what made you want to pick me up?" I ask him with a nonchalant voice. "What? Can I not come and pick my boyfriend up for lunch?" He says in an obnoxious voice that was just so Noh. "It's not that. It's just that it isn't you." I tell him and take a gulp of air before continuing, "The last time you asked me out was because you.."