Every word we don't say to each other just widens the gaps. Every silence intensifies that distance. Every unanswered message, every missed call, every day were it's just a canyon with a narrow wobbly bridge holding us together, it changes things. Not feelings though. I think. At least not for me. It makes picking up the phone just a little bit harder. Looking you in the eye a little bit harder. It started off small. Not the sort of distance you worry about, but rather, a nagging, ominous feeling of wrongness just starting to creep into the broken spaces and crevices of what we had. But somehow things escalated and now there's this elephant in the room, and we refuse to acknowledge or address it. We refuse to be the one to say something's wrong. Now everything just feels a little bit more impossible than before and neither of us is okay with that but we refuse to be the first to break the stalemate and it's honestly the most exhausting thing in the world. I don't know where we stand and that's not okay but I tell myself it is and that's not okay either. This is just a series of not okay things and every one of those just widens the spaces between us.
