Chapter 30: Deal
Disclaimer: Same
A/N: DON'T WORRY FINCHEL IS ENDGAME! Don't stop reading
Rachels POV
Great. Just Freaking Great! I wake up and realize my heart is swollen and it wasn't a dream. The first thing I do is take a shower and get the dried mascara off my cheeks. I threw on some jeans and a jacket and ran out the door not saying anything to anyone. Not eating. I would probably just throw up.
I ran to school, sweating not caring. I just wanted to feel pain. Because Pain makes other pain feel easy. I wanted hard pain. But sadly I looked to my left while running and saw Quinn pull her car up on the sidewalk and I ran to her and collapsed in her arms.
"Quinn, I cant even think. Im internally dead!" I cried so hard just like the night before
"I know, I have felt this! Just remember I love you so much. And you just need to talk to Finn" She said slowly rocking me back and forth.
"I cant, not today. I feel completely gone. I feel like life is over." I said
"I Wont let you do this." Quinn yelled "get your sorry ass up and get in the fucking car!" She yelled stronger pushing me in her car
"Quinnn." I said "Let me go!" I yelled
"Hell No, your not going to school to wallop around! You need to get there look EXTRMELY hot, single and ready to mingle. You need to look strong. Because you and I both know the first person to confront you will be Whitney. You need Finn to think this break was easy." She said
"I guess, but its not easy" I said
"Shut the hell up Rachel, I don't care right now okay! I wont have you wallow around. Pull your shit together and rule that school!" Quinn said driving to her house
"God, you sound like Puck" I said giggling a little
When we were finished at Quinns it looked like I slept last night, it looked like my heart was fine and my head wasn't spinning. It looks like I didn't shed a tear.
Luckily there was an optional assembly this morning so we hadn't missed school. When we got there we walked down the hall arms locked together and looking our best. I had my chin held high and I was ready to face everyone. Sure internally I was dying and crying and breaking but I needed this Quinn was right.
We walked into class late and we were last two to arrive. Immediately I caught Finns eye and I almost turned around and cried. He looked Horrible, he looked lost and broken, sick, tired and hungover. I felt bad but I needed to pull myself together.
"Sorry Were late Mr. Shue, Rachel and I got stopped by these to guys trying to sell us something turns out they were just hitting on us. Go figure!" Quinn said and I elbowed her because I knew she was trying to make Finn Jealous.
I saw his face drop even lower but I wasn't looking at him directly I just took a seat next to Sam and he held my hand tightly.
"Its Okay Munchin. My House Tonight?" He asked and I just nodded looking forward.
After class I went to lunch and Kurt, Quinn, Puck and Sam sat by me.
"Can I beat his ass!" Puck said angry
"No"
"Rachel, im so sorry my brother is so stupid!" Kurt said frowning
"its not your fault kurt" I said
"Rach, just remember we all love you and will be here fore you" Sam said and when he said that I stood up.
"Sorry Guys, I cant not now! I need to go somewhere alone. Thanks" I said hurrying off.
The only place I could think to go to is the Library. I went to the separate part that Finn and I would always go to and when I walked back to it I saw Finn sitting on the floor crying. I turned around as fast as I could and he called my name.
"Rachel Come Here PLEASE!" He yelled getting a dirty look from the Liberian. I turned around and walked back.
"What!" I said mad.
"Im sorry, I was drunk. She told me she wanted to work on a glee project and got be drunk and started kissing me. I didn't no what was going on! She took advantage of me!" Finn said pleading
"I know. I forgive you. But Finn I think we need some time apart. See if we know how to be alone. I may forgive you but im not anywhere near ready to get back together with you! Finn were therthed, well work past this. Not now okay?" I said and he frowned
"I understand. God I screwed up so bad" He said and at that point I couldn't take it. I wanted to cry but I couldn't not infront of him at least. I had to be strong.
"Yeah you did" I said quietly walking away and that left him crying harder. I couldn't believe he was crying in public. I could tell he felt bad.
The worst and hardest part about all this was I wanted to be back with him and just forget it. But I couldn't. I walked into the hallway and saw Whitney at my locker.
"Excuse Me" I said starring at her "Don't you have an Algebra One class to get to" I said laughing
"You and Finn aren't forever. And that's a fact." She said walking away and I started crying. So I ran to the bathroom before anyone saw.
"Rach" Kurt said entering the girls room "I saw you come in here, and I can hear you crying please talk to me"
I came out because I needed him, I needed someone.
"Kurt I love him, that's what makes this so damn difficult." I cussed out at him
"I cant, be mad at him why! He betrayed me WHY AM I NOT PUNCHING Him!" I yelled confused
"Because your tethered, and you know deep down you and Finn will find your way back to each other. It will just take time" He said wiping my tears
"How Long?" I asked crying
"I'll give you guys 20 days before you realize your lost without each other" He said laughing
"Thanks Kurt, you always make me happy!" I said slightly smiling
"Yeah, that's why im sleeping over at your place tonight. I can barley see Finn right now. Im just as mad at him as you are and he wont stop screaming and crying. Its exhausting." He said and I chuckled.
With that Kurt and I walked out of the girls bathroom and walked to glee.
"Look Rachel, im so sorry! Its my hormones and there crazy and I just felt alone. I don't even like Finn im a lesbian!" Santana said as I walked into the room.
"I don't want to hear it!" I said cutting her off and sitting with Puck and Quinn
"Rachel," She said
"Santana, I suggest shutting up right now. Okay. Before I slap you to!" I yelled and everyone flinched and Finn just looked desperate.
"Holy shit" Puck mumbled "so hot" He said and Quinn slapped him on the head.
"Why do people find Rachel Hot! Shes Not! Im so much better gosh, don't you boys notice me!" Whitney Whined.
"Shut the hell up." Sam yelled at her "Maybe if you just SHUTUP and stop running your mouth people would find you attractive!"
"Don't yell at me!" She screamed leaving the room.
"Im going home, Kurt please come. Quinn if you want." I said standing up leaving the room looking back "Sorry I just cant be here in this room right now Mr. Shue" I saw Finn put his face in his hands and I left with Quinn and Kurt.
Finns POV
What the actual Fuck. That's all I could think. I lost her. Its always MY fault I was such a screw up. I had no one on my side. I wasn't even on my own side. I was against myself. The worst part was now that I was single girls were throwing themselves at me, any mans fantasy. Not mine.
"Your Fucked, you need to fix this." Puck said
"I know" I said annoyed
"Im letting you know until you fix this, im with Rachel." He said "Your my man but shes like my younger sister and I need to be there for her. But if you need help ill be here for you too."
"Yeah" Was all I could say I didn't even look at him. I couldn't the last person I looked in the eyes was Rachel and I would keep it that way.
There wasn't an it that way.
There wasn't anything I could do to fix things. I just needed to talk to her. Let her have her time.
Rachels POV
It had been 4 weeks. 4 long weeks. Things were better and I was sitting in my room cuddled up with Sam and Quinn and Puck were on the ground.
"How are you feeling today?" Sam asked
"This is the worst day because. Im still broken but I can forget it easily, I can forget im single because my brain and heart keep telling me your with Finn, it keeps telling me your attached. So I feel like im having Fun with Friends and ill go home to Finn. Its so confusing." I said
"it makes sense, its because your attached even when your not together." Quinn said
"Is it to early to go back to him, because I want to fully forgive him and just move past this childish drama. But just 5 weeks ago we had this same problem. When Jessie kissed me, he forgave me instantly but I think we keep having these promblems so we just need to be alone for alittle while." I said
"Rach your phones ringing" Sam said picking it up and handing it to me.
"Hello" I said
"We need to talk, like now! Im sorry you don't need to forgive me but you owe it to me to talk. Meet me in the park in 10 minutes" He said hanging up
"Who was it?" Puck said
"Sorry I have to go" I said running out of the room and hopping in my car heading to the park.
I found Finn sitting under a tree and I sat across from him.
"Hi" I said quietly
"Rach, it has been 4 weeks. You left me. You don't talk to me so your going to listen to me right now. Don't interrupt. " he said and all I did was shake my head.
"You told me when Jessie kissed you that 'If you love someone No matter if they hurt you or someone else did you want to talk to them even if you hate them' You didn't talk to me you blew me off. This last month has sucked. I cant live without you and I wont. I was drunk she kissed me, and I admit I didn't stop the kiss, I didn't know what I was doing. All I know is my heart aches without you. Rach listen Me and You were good at two things, Being Completely in Love and Hating eachother so much. You pick because I know what I want. And no I cant be your friend because if I was your friend it would be to hard not to lean over and kiss you or tell you how pretty you are. So its impossible for me to be your 'friend'." He said looking at me seriously.
I leaned into him and kissed him hard on the lips.
'I cant be your friend either. Im only good at one thing and that's being your girlfriend" I said smiling at him
"Are we okay?" Finn asked
"We have a lot to talk about but Finn that month was hell. I could barley live. Luckily I have good friends but I just wanted to thank you for giving me space and the time I needed" I said getting closer to him.
"Rachel its you or nothing, you can have all the time you need. I would wait 20 years." He said stroking my hair.
"Finn lets stop with all the stupid child drama. We are now officially in an Adult Relationship. No Getting Drunk, no kissing other people, No leaving eachothers side if something isn't right? Deal?" I said looking at him.
"Deal."