falling

chap 4

Raph pov

And now I wish for you my desire

I started to miss my brothers more than ever.  I'm pretty shure I'm losing my memories. I can't seem to remember getting the crack in my shell. Nor Splinter when I was little, Only when we were training.

I started to dwell in my memories. It made me feel good and stopped me from losing them. But they were only memories. And I wanted to see my brothers so badly. The sadder thing is the closer I get to a memory the louder the voices get louder.

Some of them are right about me and others are wrong. But mostly there right. I am a burden on my brothers, I hold them back and make them go into terrible situations that they could get killed in. Then on top of that I have a crush on my brother, which would be fine if he wasn't my brother. And worst of all I throw myself infront of them so they wont get hurt. So I'm cracked practically trying to kill myself by doing so.

Some times I think it would be better if I just died, but who would protect my brothers. Its things like that are the things that keep me going. But I don't belive I can hold on much longer.

Leo pov

Today is Raph's seventh day of being unconscious and second day from giving us a big scare. I spent a hour with him yesterday just talking. But Donnie kicked me out to do a test to see why Raph wasn't waking up. He's been in a coma before, but had woken up on the third or fourth day. And I can bearly feel his spirt when I'm not talking, much like Splinter was a while ago when crang completely took over New York.

Now I know what he felt like waiting for me to wake up. But now I'm faced with losing him for good. Thats what makes a difference betwen me and him, every one knew I would eventually wake and recover. But Raph, he was probably never going to recover, at least not mentally, I can feel that.

Today I made shure I could talk to him for about three hours, And it worked. Donnie said that it really helped him and his brain started to respond to different things, or at least thats what I thought he said. He also said that Raph would heal completely but he would have two nasty scars, not that I cared.

Now I lay in my bed, not falling asleep and completely still. I'm dreading tomorrow because Splinter comes home, and who knows what he'll react like. I fear that I might have failed, not just Splinter, but I failed to protect the one I love the most.

(Time skip to morning)

I woke up about 8:30, that ment I only had about a hour to talk to Raph. Ugh, Splinter would be back at 10. But I cleared my thoughts while getting my gear on and walking to the lab. I walked over to Raph and sat there for ten minutes before I spoke. "Hey Raph, Splinter is coming back in a little while." Sighing I took his hand, "if it's ok I'm going to meditate instead of talking today. And if your hearing me could you try aswell. Maybe we could reach each other" a sad smile went across my face, and I swear I felt his hand twich in mine.

I can't imagine what he is going threw. I can feel him every once and a while, randomly walking threw the lair, which is a good sign I'm guessing. (Like playing pokemon hehe im not funny)

I closed my eyes and started to meditate. I didn't seem long before I heard Donnie, Mikey, April and Splinter. My eyes watered up but I quickly blinked it away. I stood infont of the lab door when my heart sank to my stomach. I looked back at Raph and finely opend the door.

There stood everyone. Don and Mikey where smileing, one of the first in a week. April had her arms crossed and seemed stronger, and Splinter, who had a big smile on his face, which made me feel better for the moment. "Hello Leonardo, how are you?" he asked addressing me, the happiness disappeared and I said mearly "I'm fine sensei."

"Leonardo, is everything ok?" he asked, smile disappearing. My stomach did a awful flip. "Where is Raphael?" he asked, Donnie and Mikey frowned, my heart shattered and the room went silent.