BTS Imagines

J-Hope~ By My Side (Sad)

(Warning: suicidal trigger)
The depression gets to you, you can't eat, sleep or socialise, this leads for you to faint, worrying Hoseok...

Role: Elisa

You haven't been yourself recently. Your appetite disappeared, your skin paled, your health decreasing; you were slowly deteriorating. Having a hereditary depression wasn't fun, especially when you can't do anything about it. What makes it worse is that your boyfriend, Hoseok, was never around anymore due to practice. He was the only thing that made you happy, he made you feel like you had no cares in the world, it was just you and him. But that's changed since he's barely here.

You say on the sofa staring blankly at the TV. Your stomach rumbled, begging for food, yet you had no appetite and was not in the mood for food. Billions of questions passed trough your mind. The kind that would slowly eat away at your brain. Suddenly your phone buzzed and you looked to see it was Hoseok. You smiled as you saw his name and read his text.

'Hey Elisa! I'm coming home tonight! But don't worry about preparing a dinner for us, I've got that covered 😉 love you~~~~~'

Your smile faltered at his words. Dinner. Something you haven't had properly for the last 2 weeks. He's gonna find out sooner or later, and it scares you about how he reacts. After getting your mind straight you decided to tidy up a bit. Your mind was not in its proper state lately so house keeping was not your priority. As you cleared up a few things you suddenly felt a rush of dizziness and nausea come over you and you had to grab the bed to steady yourself. The feeling got stronger and more painful until you finally collapsed. You didn't black out straight away, but before you did you heard the front door opening, then everything went into a dark abyss.

•••••••••••••••••

At first you heard a faint beeping sound, very steady, then slowly as you focused on it it became louder and louder until you finally woke up. You eyes opened groggily then squinted in the light. You were in a pale yellow room with a bunch of white equipment scattered around, one of them making the beeping noise you heard. Your mind slowly realised you were in a hospital bed. Panic set in and you shot up, well tried to until you realised you were being weighed down by something on your stomach.

You looked down to see a sleeping Hoseok. He looks like he'd been crying, his eyes puffed up and his cheeks red. You smiled at the sight before you and then raised you hand and put it on his cheek. It was still slightly damp from tears. He started to fidget then slowly opened one eye and looked at you. In the span of only a few second he had shot up from his sleeping position, engulfed you in a bear hug and started to cry softly.

"You're okay Elisa! I thought I'd lost you!" He sobbed into the crook of your neck. You hugged him back and let a few tears roll down. Before you could say anything he pulled away and looked you dead in the eye.

"Why didn't you tell me you had depression? Why weren't you eating? Did you know you could've died because you weren't eating properly?!" Yelled softly, worry and pain showed through his bloodshot eyes. You looked at him and didn't reply, you didn't know how to reply. Finally you looked down at the crisp, white bed sheets and mumbled an apology.

"I'm sorry.... it's hereditary. And I didn't tell you because you've been so busy recently and you didn't need more on you mind. And I guess I just lost my appetite...." you said. Slightly embarrassed. Hoseok engulfed you in a hug then pulled back and kissed you softly on the lips before hugging you even tighter.

"I'd rather know the well fare of my girlfriend than do my job. Yes, I do care about my career, but I care about you more and if I lost you...I-
I don't know what would-" he cut himself of with a sob. "Just promise me from now on that you will tell me everything. Whether you're on your period, if you feel down or even if you have just watched The Fault in our Stars and your s crying wreck. And I promise I will come home everyday. I'll tell my manager that I need to balance my career out with you, but so that I spend more time with you. I'll make sure you get the best treatment, all the gifts you want everything-" you cut him off by kissing him. You stayed there for what seemed like forever until you pulled back.

"I don't need gifts, clothing, jewellery or anything materialistic, I just want you by my side. I love you Hobie." You said with a small smile.

"I love you more El" he said before hugging you again.