BTS Imagines

Namjoon ~ Panic (Angst/Cute)

You have a panic disorder meaning you panic very easily, leading to major panic attacks. This paired with yours and Namjoon's roller coaster of a relationship leads to so rickety endings...

Role: Hannah

I stared at the new article reading, 'Kim Namjoon rumored to be dating another K-Idol?' I know it was most likely all crap, knowing that the news will make up any article to get publicity, but it never stopped bothering me. I felt that whirlwind of tightening sensations forming in my chest as I placed a hand over my heart, trying to steady the quick intakes of breaths I was doing. 

It's just a fake news article, it isn't real. He wouldn't cheat.

Suddenly the door opened and closed along with his deep voice calling out my name. 

"In here." I called out from my place in the living room. I heard his foot steps before feeling his arms hug my shoulders and kissing my neck. His scent seemed to calm me.

"How was your day?" I asked as he pulled away then walked around to sit next to me.

"It was... tiring" he chuckled as he took the seat next to me before pulling me into a full, hug, chest against chest with my nose just about reaching over his shoulder. "How are-" he paused before slipping his hand from my lower back to a higher spot on my back, right above where the heart is. "Your heart is beating quicker than usual, is everything okay?" he pulled back and looked at me with worried eyes.

"Well I-you see..." I became flustered at what to say.

"Hannah, you can tell me anything, just say it." he said, his eyes filled with even more sincerity. I sighed before looking him in the eyes.

"There's been articles about you dating... another k-idol behind my back. Is this true?" I cautiously said my words. He let out what seemed like a frustrated sigh before leaning back into the couch.

"This again?" he asked rhetorically, annoyance in his voice. This is the last thing I wanted to make him feel.

"No! It's just I've seen them everywhere and-"

"And every time you ask I say the same thing, Hannah. I'm not cheating on you!" he raised his voice and I unintentionally flinched. I knew with the stress of being an idol and dealing with me it would've been best to leave it alone.

"Namjoon, please don't take it the wrong way." I felt my heart beat rise but still controlled my breaths.

"Well it seems that way." he stood up before I could reach for his hand. "Are you paranoid now as well?" his question stung me, but he was right in some kind of way. He started to make his way to the door.

"Wait, w-where are you going?" I stuttered as I clumsily made my way off the couch to follow him.

"To get some air." he said before closing the door. I stopped in my tracks, a few tears threatening to fall. I knew that I shouldn't worry, the stress is getting to him and I need to give him space. I slowly made my way to our bedroom then to the on suite bathroom. I washed my face, before looking at myself in the mirror. The tightening feeling has gotten much worse, to the point of where I'm slightly hunched over. My breathe was picking up it's pace as I felt myself getting a panic attack. No, no, no! Not now!

I dropped to the bathroom floor hunched over and I began to shake. The last thing I needed was for this to happen, but how can I control it? My breathes became shaken as my breathing became too quick for my body. The bathroom floor felt cold against my burning skin which wasn't helping. This attack felt stronger than any I've ever had.

"Hannah." I heard Namjoon call out. I didn't want him to see me like this, even if he's used to it. "Baby I'm sorry I-" I hiccuped a cry followed by a sharp intake of breathing at which his words stopped. "Baby?" he called out. As much as I wanted to call back I could, not with my lungs not co-operating, my body trembling and my clogged mind.

I heard his foot steps run before stopping. I saw him in my peripheral vision but wasn't able to move. I heard him curse before he dropped down next to me and embraced my shivering frame.

"Hey, hey, shhh. It's okay. I'm sorry for anything I said." he cooed as he lifted me onto his lap to embrace me further. "I've just been stressed and have taken it out on you, I'm so sorry." he said softly. He kissed my forehead and continued to whisper sweet things to calm me down whilst rocking backwards and forwards, cradling me like a baby. Eventually, after what seemed like hours, my breathing became that of after running a lap.

"Youre not... mad at me... are you?" I asked in-between deep breathes.

"Never." he said, stroking my hair. We stayed like that for a while, even after my attack went away, we just enjoyed being together; even if it was on the bathroom floor.

"I'm sorry I keep asking, I just can't help it. Maybe I am paranoid..." I mumbled into his chest.

"You're not, I don't even know why I said that, but you're not. If I kept seeing headlines like that about you, I would most likely do the same." he said back. I leaned my head up and he pecked me on the nose causing me to giggle. He chuckled along with my before leaning down to catch my lips with his. He pulled back with a smile before standing up with me. "Can you stand?"

I nodded and we made our way to the living room where we plopped down onto the couch.

"Now, hows about a movie?" he glanced at me as I leaned my head onto his shoulder.

"Sounds awesome."