Defining Love

Chapter 3 - Part 2

"Do you remember what else you wanted me to do to you?" she said against my mouth, and I froze. "It's okay," she said, bringing her hand up and slipping it into my leggings and under my panties, making my breath catch as her fingers made their way down to there.

Edi was good at this. She was so good at it I knew without asking this was something else that wasn't her first time. She'd only been at it for a few seconds, and already I felt as if I would explode at any moment.

"Oh!" I cried out loudly against her mouth, my entire lower half of my body going weak. She latched on again continuing to kiss me as my entire body came alive. "Oooh!"

I swayed my hips, trying to stay in control because I didn't want it to be over. Moving my mouth away from hers in a desperate attempt to catch my breath, I gasped for air, and she sucked my neck just at the moment the incredible build up exploded and I cried out in pleasure. As if she knew the exact instant I needed her to stop, she did, and we both stood there silently as I struggled to calm my once again contradicting emotions.

"Doing that to you felt as incredible as I always imagined," she whispered against my ear.

Standing there, breathing hard, coming down from the high of my orgasm, my head cleared fast. This was not the first time Edi had done this. As good as I always imagined? How long had she been imagining doing this to me? And how many others had she done this to? Was beautiful girlie Edi really gay? I gulped, afraid to ask, and then she kissed me again. "You better remember that tomorrow," she said, pulling away but tugging my hand.

We walked to the chair bed I slept on in our small living room. Because her parents were paying the rent, I'd insisted Edi take the only bedroom in the small bachelor apartment. She started opening the chair bed for me. I stood there next to her, unable to think of a single thing to say. This was already starting to feel awkward, and I knew tomorrow would be worse once I was completely sober. What had we done? Was this a onetime deal like we'd said last time? Now she wanted me to remember this tomorrow? Why?

My suddenly terrified heart pounded. Was she expecting this to change things between us? How could I be so stupid? How could I let myself give into the heat of the moment without thinking about the big picture—how big a risk this was?

She must've noticed the change in my demeanor because she turned to me and smiled nervously. "Don't think about what just happened too much." The usual confident Edi I knew slipped for an instant, and she looked too nervous—almost as terrified as I felt. Then she smiled again. "We'll talk tomorrow," she said, pecking me softly. "For now, get some sleep."

I lay there, even as my body still tingled from what had just happened. My lips still tasted of her, and I couldn't sleep. The reality was sinking in fast. Everything that she'd just told me without saying hardly anything was too much. She'd said little, but her actions had spoken volumes.

Tomorrow morning she'd be gone to her practice most of the day, and I'd be left here to wonder what to make of all this: if and how this changed things between us. Regardless of her sexual preference, which was all too clear now, everything suddenly made sense. I still wanted her—needed her—in my life. I didn't want this to change things.

The light in the kitchen turned on, and I heard the refrigerator open. We'd both been drinking tonight, but like me after what had happened tonight, I was certain she'd sobered up too.

"Edi?" I called out as I sat up on my bed, my heart beating faster already.

She ambled to the doorway of the front room, holding a Gatorade, and leaned against it. "Yeah?"