Alpha Brothers - The Cold Hearted Sister (book 5)

Chapter 21

Chapter 21
Allie
He was dead. My mate was dead. I never thought that was a bad thing. I never thought that I would worry for Nick's life but I couldn't stop pacing. It was the only thing that calmed me down. That and biting my fingernails. I could even hear my mother's voice telling me to stop, but I couldn't. Nick was probably being ripped to shreds as we speak.
"Allie."
My whole body turned around at the sound of Nick's croaky voice before I even realized. I froze at the sight of him. His hunch body, bruised eyes and swollen lip. But he wasn't dead.
Just as relief filled my body, so did anger.
I took three quick steps to him and punched him in the stomach. He cried out, leaning his body weight on me as he struggled to breathe.
"Don't ever do that to me, do you understand?" I shouted, my body shaking from both rage and fear. Fear I never once thought I would feel.
"I'm sorry," he croaked, still in pain, "Just, lie me down for a second."
With a groan, I led him toward the bed before he rolled himself onto the mattress. He groaned, clutching his ribs, biting back swear words.
"You're such a baby," I scoffed, "Let me have a look."
Reluctantly, he peeled away his hands and allowed me to unbutton his shirt. I swallowed, feeling my heart race at the sight of his tone abs. God, I really needed to get laid and fast.
Blinking away the thought, I started to focused. I ran my hands over his ribs, pressing hard until he screamed out and tried to roll away from me.
Taking his shoulders, I stilled his movement, "Shhh, sorry. You probably have a broken rib."
"You think," he hissed, sucking in air so that he was able to breathe.
"Don't be snarky," I told him, "I'm tryin' to help you. You were the idiot that went after Hector. What the hell were you thinkin'?"
"I wasn't," he admitted, sounding less in pain than before, "God, how could I be so stupid? You would think I would have learnt from the first time."
"First time?" I questioned, "With your back and challengin' Nathair."
He nodded, swallowing.
"How you could have put up with that, I will never know," I said, running my hand down his chest without even realizing.
"He was the closest thin' I had to my Ma," he told me, making me bite my tongue.
Of course, how could I be so stupid?
"Sorry," I muttered, taking my hand away, "H-how did, I mean, h-how did you..?"
"Get through it knowin' that my father hated me and was willin' to hurt me."
I swallowed. That wasn't exactly how I would put it but I guess it was my question.
"I didn't have a relationship with my father. He ignored me my entire life."
I didn't know what to say. My family, I mean we had our moments but we were close. I don't remember a time when they weren't around me.
"I-I'm sorry. No one should live without a family. Even I know that."
He chuckled a little, trying to find humour in this depressing conversation.
"You didn't fulfil your end of the deal," I reminded him, remembering our conversation earlier before he went to kill himself.
He was silent, trying to weigh his options. He couldn't run. He was in too much pain and I would catch him before he got far enough. His other option was only to talk.
Sighing, he asked, "Where do you want me to start?"
"From the beginnin'. Where did you grow up?"
Clearing his throat, he answered, "Faol Fonn. It wasn't a castle like Faol Coillie but it was three stories high and had large pine trees all around it."
I giggled at him, watching as his eyes returned to a past that didn't seem so dark.
Chuckling at a memory, he continued, "Hector and I use to hide from Jeremy in them. He would spend hours lookin' for us."
I snickered, lying down next to him, "You sound like a real family."
"We were," he stated, "At least for a time anyway. We had to make up for it, you know. Our mothers were dead and our father was –,"
"A psychopath," I finished before I could stop myself.
To his credit, he just chuckled, clearly expecting it from me.
"What about when you were older?" I asked, trying not to sound jealous, "I mean, with girls and everythin'."
He frowned, a grin forming on his lips, "Are you askin' me about my sex life?"
"No," I said, trying to hide the fact that I kind of was, "I'm askin' you about how you met...girls?"
"I think your askin' me about my sex life," he repeated.
"I'm not," I said, almost shouting as my cheeks burned read.
"Look at you, your blushin'."
"God," I groaned, wishing I could take it back as my blushing worsened and his chuckles grew.
"To answer your question," he started, "there, wasn't, many."
I frowned, my eyes meeting his as his own cheeks redden from his embarrassment. He wasn't saying what I think he was, was he?
"Nick," I started, "Are you a virgin?"
"What?" he asked, surprised that I had even asked the question, "No, of course not, why would you even ask that?"
I shrugged, "I don't know. You just seem so...uptight."
"Uptight?" he asked, crossed between offended and finding this whole situation funny, "And my guessin' by you surprise, you're not."
Just as I went to tell him no, I froze. The words wouldn't come out. Hector's voice continued to replay in my head, why would they come for a little slut like you?
"Allie?" Nick asked, noticing my frozen state, "Are you okay?"
Suddenly, I couldn't face him. I sat up and turned away from him so that my legs hung off the side of the bed.
I heard Nick sit up and shift closer to me. Goosebumps rose on my neck as I felt his warm breath against my shoulder.
"What's the matter, Al?" he asked, pulling my hair off my shoulder and tugging it behind my ear.
What if he's ashamed of me too? What if he decides to turn away from me because he thought I was a dirty slut like the rest of them? I know I shouldn't care. If he turned away from me, my problems would be solved but I couldn't have him thinking me in that way.
"No, I'm not a virgin," I muttered, "Actually, I've had sex so many times that I've lost count so if that's a deal breaker, tell me now."
I was met with silence. It only frustrated and angered me more. If he was disgraced by me then he should be a man and tell me to my face.
"Come on," I egged him on, "tell me what a dirty slut I am that not even a Macangus would accept me. Not to mention that the royal blood I pump is tainted."
More silence.
"Allie, I love you."
I froze.
My heart stopped.
All the air in my lungs escaped.
The words I've never heard and have almost lost all meaning was being said by the man that I had forced myself not to love. The sad part was, I think I had stopped fighting a long time ago.
Finally, I had the guts to look at him. His face was unchanged. He still had his truthful brown eyes and his lips that rarely made a smile. But somehow, the way his eyes blinked, waiting for my response made everything inside of me burn. No pretty loser could ever make me feel that way no matter how drunk I was and yet he could in one simple look.
"You can't," I blurted out before I could stop myself.
"I'll take that as your answer," he stated, not sounding happy as he rolled off his bed.
Clearly his rib had healed.
"Where are you goin'?" I cried out, standing myself.
"Out," he answered, looking annoyed.
"Don't be stupid. Remember what happened, seriously, an hour ago when you went out," I reminded him.
"That's funny," he stated, making me frown, "You sound like you care."
My mouth dropped, shocked. I never thought he would take it this badly.
"Nick, I –," my voice was cut off when he turned and headed in the furthest direction.
I stood, frozen, my mouth opened and my body numbing. Everything that I felt before just washed away with him making me feel just as motionless as I did before. My heart inside of me ached like nothing else, knowing that I had just wasted my chance to tell him the truth. And just as I realized that, I realized that his anger was for the best. The more frustrated and furious he was with me, the less likely I would fall even harder than I already was for him.
But deep in my heart I knew that there was so much more I wanted to tell him. That for once, it wasn't goodbye.