Personal distraughts

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           Everyday just seems like a constant refurbishing of the situations and problems people go through in front of me. Every person I look at seems like a disfiguring of the same simple personages existent in the world. The problems repeat themselves along different people until there's nothing original left, not even the names of said people. Even the happiest of outcomes seem fragile in terms of survivability. Situations in which everybody else sees the instability except for the ones involved. Even when I find myself in the same situations I always determine the worst outcome as the most probable. It makes me very pessimistic, but in a world of monsters that all look like me, the most pessimistic seems the most realistic. Yet the situation becomes even more fervent when I look deeper into my own analysis of situations. Every thought, every dialogue, it seems like every little speck of information just ends up taking a negative spin on the situation until everything just falls apart on itself into a calamity that I thrust myself into.
             Sometimes I wake up in the morning in a panic, feeling more exhausted than I was the night before. I never really know what do in that situation, I check my phone, nothing, social media, nothing, and the source of such distraught are the same problems that plague me outside of shelter. My eyes red and my hair mopped are the only visual indications of the demons ripping my mental state in half while the rest of me is just trying to pass of as normal to the world. It's a disgusting sensation that seems to linger the entire day without remedy except more distraught. Contemplating on where the situation stems from, finding the answer only fuels my impatience to act without thinking, and no matter how hard I try to keep my composure it shatters in the wake of the looming presence in my mind.

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