Beyond

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"Such a gorgeous girl."

I fiddle with my hands under the table. I was very very uncomfortable. I really wanted to leave. This has never happened to me before... Ever in my life.

"She's a..."

"A what, mom?" Sebastian barks out, making me swallow some of my spit. The tension was thick. Way too fucking thick.

If Jabari was here, he'd say the tension was thicker than me and Nicki Minaj put together, and those words alone would've been able to clear the air and make everyone laugh. That's what we needed, comedic relief. But none of us could do it.

I sure the fuck couldn't bring myself to speak. I had never experienced racism this blatant from anyone, especially not anyone white such as Sebastian's mother, but I felt like it hurt ten times worse because of her race and the fact that I truly wanted her to like me. I thought since she married someone of color and had children with him (Sebastian's father was Middle Eastern, from Israel if I recall correctly) that she would understand the struggle and hurt that comes with discrimination.

Guess it only applies to those who are lighter than a wet paper bag.

And I've never felt such... fetishism from anyone. Especially not a man old enough to be my father. It truly disgusts me, especially knowing that I'm with his son and he's trying to get into my pants. Or at least... eye raping me. I don't know, I was so confused and uncomfortable, I didn't know how to handle it.

"You know, Sebastian. A... very young lady." She says, correcting herself once she saw that I was looking directly into her eyes, trying to figure out what I was. As if I didn't know what she meant. I knew it, I felt it. I knew what she wanted to say. She wanted to call me a nigger, or a black girl or something that wouldn't be too offensive but a microagression at the same time.

I'm black and I'm very fucking proud. I don't need to put up with this shit.

I let out a breath, closing my eyes and trying to keep it together. This was for Sebastian. I love him very very much. His parents are apart of his life and if I want to be apart of it, I have to coexist with these people as best I can.

"Mom-"

"A very beautiful young lady." Sebastian's father says, looking directly into his wife's eyes. I suddenly felt as if he was on my side, but then I have to remember he's probably only on my side because he wants to get into my pants.

I had no ally's here.

I wouldn't say Sebastian's my ally because he'll only speak up if his mother gets close to the line. He didn't say anything when she was critiquing my nose or speaking up on how big my lips were or if the hair on my head was really mine.

And yes, it is mine. I paid for the the shit, therefore it belongs to me, it is my possession and is my hair. Duh, bitch.

"Stop flirting with her, Damian!" Sebastian mother hisses.

"I'm not flirting, I'm just admitting that my son has great taste!" He says, looking over at Sebastian with a wide smile. Sebastian looks down at his salad, inhaling deeply and his father's gaze moves over to me.

My eyes widen as his stare lingers a bit too long and I quickly look away. It was uncomfortable as fuck. I really wanted to leave but Sebastian-

"Damian, she is black!" Sebastian's mother finally hisses at him, making me inhale sharply.

"Mom!"

"Isabell!"

"What! I'm just saying. She's so... dark!" She blurts out and turns to look at Sebastian. "Think of how your children would look!"