20 Reasons to Let Go

[ Reason Seventeen ] - Goodbye

Kendal's POV

Her father did not come. He did not go with her to the prison, like her mother did. Instead, he stayed at home, his eyes fixed on the television, his hand limply grasping a beer bottle.

Her mother made no attempt at convincing him to go. She had seen the bruise, Kendal knew, and overnight a pattern of painful splotches had appeared on her arms as well. Their matching tattoos communicated an unspoken agreement. There was no approaching the monster.

The ride to Scarlet Harring was uncomfortable, to say the least. Kendal watched from the backseat as her mother's hands shook uncontrollably on the steering wheel, nearly causing them to veer off the road several times. Kendal wondered what she was leaving her mom alone with by going back. She wondered if perhaps she would be safer in the prison of voices and vengeful girls than her mother would be in the home of a broken father.

Kendal's thoughts were stopped short by the raspy whisper of her mother's voice, "You're going on trial next week."

She poked her head around the backseat, "What?"

Her mother nodded solemnly from behind the steering wheel, "They contacted me last night. Dad and I will find the best lawyer we can afford, honey, but I can't promise you much. He's been missing work lately and..."

"I know." Kendal said, not wanting her mother to go any further.

As they turned onto the road that would lead them to Scarlet Harring, Kendal watched as mist rolled over distant mountains. She envied how easily the cloudy vapor adjusted to what lay in its path. Silently, she wished she could do the same.

The car tires screeched as the vehicle halted, and Kendal swallowed her fear, gazing out at the enormous building that was now all too familiar to her. She took one final deep breath, and swung her car door open.

The gravel underneath her feet was crunchy as she walked with her mother to the entrance. And although she could feel the sturdy ground beneath her, Kendal couldn't shake the feeling that she was dreaming.

Nothing had changed. When Kendal stepped through the front doors and into the lobby, not a single thing seemed out of place. The blinding white lights she had hated so deeply the last time she had been there still blinded her, and the oddly placed potted plants still sat strangely on either side of the room. This identical image left her disheartened as she approached the front desk.

"Kendal Winters." her mother told the woman behind the desk, her tone edged with reluctance.

The woman nodded and typed something aggressively onto the computer in front of her. Then she clicked the mouse a couple of times, looked up, and said, "You're all set. Trudy will be here to escort Kendal to her cell shortly."

Kendal sauntered over to a couch across the room and huffed as she sat down. Her mother sat beside her, a puppet-like expression drawn across her lips.

The ticking of an overhead clock became very apparent in the silence between them.

Tick-tock.

Kendal crossed her legs.

Tick-tock.

Kendal uncrossed her legs.

Tick-tock.

By the time Trudy appeared on the opposite side of the room, Kendal had crossed, uncrossed, and recrossed her legs so many times that she had just about lost all feeling in her muscles. She got up quickly, feeling a peculiar kind of relief in seeing that it was time to go.

Wordlessly, Kendal's mother grabbed her arm and pulled her into a warm hug. Tears trailed down her stress-withered cheeks and found their way into her daughter's hair. Kendal stood, shocked by the sudden gesture. After a moment, she wrapped her arms around her mother, hoping to lend her some kind of comfort.

When she pulled away, Kendal saw that her mother was no longer crying, but instead, smiling. She was smiling in they way that she used to, before the murder. Before the hitting, and the drinking, and the pain. For that moment alone, she was herself again.

Kendal squeezed her eyes shut tight. I don't want to be the reason.

She opened her eyes. "You can leave him, Mom. Really, it's okay." she said.

Her mother's mouth fell gently open with shock. She looked as though a tremendous weight had been lifted from her shoulders, one that she had been bearing for a very long time, perhaps even longer than Kendal had known.

"Goodbye. I love you."

And with feeling of those words still on her tongue, Kendal turned and walked away.

♦ ♦ ♦

Cady,

I wish you were here in front of me, so that I could tell you this in person, but I know you are not able to visit me every day.

The prison is the same as always, with rules, restrictions, and hundreds of lunatics surrounding me all day. But don't feel too sorry for me, as I am one of those lunatics myself.

I am the reason that René Endel is dead. I killed her while on the way to the grocery store one night. It was a mistake, an awful, dreadful mistake. You can take this to the police, Cady. Tell them to consider this a full confession.

I am a murderer, and I am sorry.

For the reasons I have just described, I also think that it would be best if we were to stop being friends.

Furthermore, I ask that you do not try to contact me in any way, shape, or form following this letter. It will make this whole ordeal far easier for the both of us.

It is because of this that reason number seventeen is goodbye.

I would also like you to know that I very much enjoyed every kiss that we shared, though I may have previously tried to hide it.

I hope that you will grow up to be the strong and beautiful girl that I already know you to be, Cady Somber.

Goodbye for always,

Kendal

Here it is!

Once again, it's been far too long since the last update. I apologize, but my schedule lately has just become so busy!

I would like to take a moment to send a big, lovely shout-out to NeverTrustAnAuthor for interviewing me for an issue of "Wattpad Stars Quarterly," as it really meant a lot to me and was awesome to be featured! Also thanks to mandoysmoysoy for publishing it. If you would like to read the interview, just head on over to Mandoy's account.

And as always, I hope that you had fun reading this chapter, and that you will continue to support "20 Reasons to Let Go" to its completion.

Vote, comment, share, follow.

With thanks,

( katherine )