Dear Journal,
Excuse my language but FUCK LIFE!
It’s the middle of the school year and I think I have cut almost every day. I have to start cutting on my legs now because my arms are so full. Spirit, forgive me for crying but I just can’t take it anymore. I WANT TO DIE! So bad and just end this horrible life.
I’m trying to not feel the pain, just block it all out. But do you know how hard that is!
The girls are just heartless. They tease me more than the guys. They call me all sorts of names. They even said my mom died because she didn’t want to stare at my ugliness. I ran away from the laughing people, crying my eyes out.
I have even taking to cutting in the girls’ bathroom during lunch. I stopped eating, well, not completely. I sneak a few bites to eat late at night, so no one will see me.
Is this the life that God wanted me to have? I’m starting to question his existence. He never saves me when I call out to him.
Spirit, I’m broken down. I don’t think I can get any lower than this.
Valerie
P.S. My days are getting shorter and my nights are long.
