Jane: The Voices In My Head [h.s.]

Three

Mrs. Ruth quits a week later. Her replacement is Mrs. Hillary, but she isn't much different and all of Jane's classmates continue to alienate her and talk about her as if she isn't there. Everyone except Harry. She doesn't know why he doesn't join in when they tease her or why he doesn't say a word while they're making fun of her, but he doesn't and something about that is nice.

Jane's not sure if it means that he's a nice boy or if it means he's just shy. But she doesn't think that he's too shy because she sees him talking to some of the other boys and girls on the playground and when they have free time in the classroom.

Maybe he's nice and he doesn't want to be alone like she is.

Anyone who talks to her ends up alone and she doesn't want that for anyone, even though she's alone herself. Jane tries her best to ignore attempts at conversation and to keep as silent as possible, but sometimes she ends up talking to the voices in her head and the other kids stare at her.

Sometimes she yells, too.

Harry's noticed all of these things, but he still keeps looking at her and trying to make up his mind about whether or not he wants to talk to her. She's always so lonely and he knows that she has to hate it because there are few people who enjoy being alone.

Jane wishes that he'd stop looking at her. She doesn't like it because it makes her feel like she's something on display in a museum and because it only makes the voices louder and harder to ignore.

He does it every day and she's conflicted about how she should feel about it. She hasn't had friends since the voices started talking to her and it's incredibly nice to imagine him as a friend-anyone as a friend, really-but at the same time she doesn't want to hurt him. Lately it seems as if all she does is hurt the people that she loves and the people that try to befriend her.

She hates the way that she's living, but she can't do anything about it and she can't complain because it could be worse. Much worse. There are people in those hospitals, having things injected into their bloodstream and being forced to lie still while the doctors send electricity through their bodies. They sleep in small rooms with awful beds and worse bedding and they hardly ever get to go outside.

Most people don't know that though. All of the pamphlets and ads make it look like some sort of retreat and feed people lies. Jane only knows this because of her aunt Sylvia. Her parents still think she believed them when they told her that her aunt was just making things up.

They used to visit her aunt twice a month until that day. All she did was tell them the truth because they asked if she liked it where she was. Her parents shouldn't have asked. Aunt Sylvia told them horrible things while the three of them sat in stunned silence, not knowing what to say or what to do.

Katherine told her to stop it and then told Jane that it was something she'd made up in her head, that's why she's there to get help. She saw the look in her eyes though, her aunt might have been crazy, but crazy doesn't hide fear and she was telling them the truth.

Aunt Sylvia heard things like Jane does and sometimes it keeps Jane up at night. She doesn't want to end up in a place like that, she'd rather runaway and live in the woods like the people that were here before them did.

Jane would rather die.

Her parents never took her to see aunt Sylvia again and she wishes that they had because maybe she could help her understand what's wrong with her. Maybe her aunt could've helped her. There's no way of knowing now because aunt Sylvia is gone.

Jane's a little lost in her thoughts and she doesn't notice that Harry's decided to come talk to her today until it's too late.

Don't trust him. He's just like the rest of them. He'll hurt you and laugh about it with everyone else.