Departure ↠ Argent [3]

22. Dark Corners

I wasn't really sure where to go.

After leaving the hospital where Allison and the others were, I realized that I didn't really have anywhere to go. It wasn't like I could go to Allison's place after saying those things, and I knew that if I went back home they'd find me there. I realized that I didn't really have a place to go to now, but that was before I remembered another place that always would be apart of my memory.

The bridge.

If I really wanted to go somewhere where none of the others would find me, it was there. Besides, I deserved to sit in the place that I had died first and think about the stupid actions that I had done today; about the things that could have happened today because of me.

So here I was now, sitting on the edge of the bridge as my feet dangle over the water, my hands clasping onto the railing that was right above my head. The air around me was crisp and cool, but the sky was a dark grey that seemed to reflect my mood. It only added onto my pain.

Images flash through my mind as I look over my shoulder, imagining my truck driving across this bridge before that semi had forced me to jerk the wheel. That feeling of panic and fear was something I'd never forget, along with that feeling of not being able to breathe.

Then I saw Jade there next to me, her hair floating seamlessly in the ice cold water that surrounded us, remembering her appearance causing panic to shoot through me, along with a hint of peace. When I had realized that there was no way I was getting her or myself out of that truck that night, it was the sight of Jade that really put me at ease; when I really accepted death.

Then of course came the water. Letting it all in was the final action to put an end to it all, and I remember thinking why this - I don't deserve to die. Of course now I knew that I had to die in order to live the life I was living now, and at one point in time, I thought it was worth it, but now I realized that my death was a curse to everyone else around me.

If Stiles never met me, maybe then he'd just now be dragging himself out of bed on this Saturday morning, yawning from a good nights sleep. If he wouldn't have met me, Deucalion would have never came here along with Jennifer, his dad never would have been taken, and he never would have went under the ice water that we now know let the darkness in.

Lydia would probably be sitting in her room right now, studying for some test if she never had met me. She sure as hell wouldn't be lying in some hospital bed right now, terrified of what the next hour might bring for Stiles and herself. If I wasn't here, I bet she'd be happy.

As for Allison...she wouldn't have anyone to worry about. She would probably be with Scott, happy as can be; the werewolf and the huntress. She would have never wasted all of that time back when I was dead trying to bring me back, and she wouldn't have almost killed herself in the process. But instead since she met me, she's probably looking high and low for me, even after I told her not to, but that's just Allison. She never gives up.

Face it Corey, they'd all be better off without you.

They don't need my help. All I was doing was slowing them down...I could see that now. Corey Walker: the seer who can't even defend his own damn self; the one who has to have others risk their lives in order to help him. Everyone was right all along. I never was help to anyone around me; I was the powerless and defenseless member who brought everyone else down in the process.

A single hot tear falls down my cheek as I grab a rock from beside me, throwing it down below into the water. I was angry, yes, but only at myself. I was mad at myself for being so blind to it all until now...for letting myself drag down everyone else for so long.