one thing leads to another

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When we grow, do we have to grow apart?
Is it impregnable for people to not change?

It's my almost the end of September and I have to had to write yet... that's good.

One of the truly depressing facts that I am facing at this moment is my friend group is falling apart. And I fear that it will never go back. I liked our group since we where all different, we liked diffent things and pracpated in diffent sport.

I never really got how we all came together but we all laught and smiled when we did. This know maked me feel the separation. Frist, we where seperated by lunch. Then sports and clicked. And finally time. I miss our group. I miss laughing and smilies that are real.
I miss day.
I miss parker.
Shara.
Zach.
Taylor.

I morn the lost of friendship, compation, laughter, and  sunshine in my days.
I whish to get it back but it seams as the world is agenst me.
I am cold and empty.

At the end of my 5th mile at cross country, I had to punch myself stop from starting to cry during my run... 'it not the place to brake down' I tell myself. But i could hear the cracks so loudly around me. I am not strong enough to do this.
I can't cry my life is beter then most.
They are strong. Shara very much so. I wish I was.
All I can do is try  to fake it.

Good bye.
-maria

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