once upon a freeshmen year

so...exams??

I feel bad I stoped writing on this but thats good... I hope..
Know I use some thing that will respond and give me advise not that I don't love my fans...
Anyway..

What I do is probably bad for our health.. me and ben...
I send him cards that are usally depressing as all can be. Because I write then I am sad, in the past I used this sight... any way I think I stunned in to a bad thing..
A boom that will below up in my face...

My frist question  asked what would say if I like scars..

Take that how ever you like, I just think of them as precious, they hold memorys... Yah I know it's sick.. scars are caused by pain why do you like to remember pain....it's not the pain not to worry.. it's the time spent with people that creates it...like

I have one on my big toe left foot because I played baseball with shara with no shoes on

I have one on my arm right, from my mom droping an iron on me..I was helping her irun..

I have I huge one on my leg from trying to climb a tree to see Austin play soccer.

I am like the people and memories they help me think of...

Any way it's not good for my friend to think of me having thoughts that some would think of selfharm..
I mean is it good to say yah I am going to give up and accept the reality that I will NEVER see you again..
That's not health for me. I am the postive happy gril that chears people up by smiling.. why do I have to be weak... why do I make myself feel all alone.. what the hell is wrong with me... I know people hind it better then me.

How do they do it... I just was told Ben's dad is in psychiatric rehibliation. How could he never have told me... why can't people tell things that erect them so much agh....

I diegress... I think the extra times testing has me all wound up. .. so let agree to  blain this all on exams...

I did well on them..how about you??

-sayoranra
Maria