If Tomorrow Never Comes

46. If Tomorrow Never Comes

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long. Thank you all for being so patient (and for occasionally giving me the much needed encouragement to write on). This chapter got much longer than I originally planned and also way more definitive.

As a matter of fact, this is the end.

I kept procastinating this, but now that it's done, I'm actually very proud of the result. I really like this chapter, and so I hope very much that you like reading it too, for one last time❤

Matt stood up, soundlessly, careful not to disturb his friends, who were clinging onto each other like their life depended on it, weeping and smiling at the same time. He shot Eva a look, and she too left her seat, letting Matt guide her to the kitchen and slowly close the door. At the click of the lock, both let out a deep sigh, a mutual understanding of relief and anxiety they weren't even aware of.
"Thanks for talking to him," Eva said, her voice low so the boys in the living room wouldn't hear.
Matt noticed that her eyes were wet, and a moment later, she let out an embarrassed sound, somewhere between a chuckle and a sob, and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. "I'm just so glad to see them together again," she whispered, almost inaudibly, sniffing her nose and smiling apologetically at Matt.
Matt smiled back, and took her into a big hug, letting her cry tears of happiness on his shoulder.

***

At the other side of the wall, Alex was crying too, wrapped up in Miles' arms, clutching the back of his shirt in his fists as he let the tears dampen Miles' neck. But Miles didn't mind that. Not at all.
All he cared about was that Alex was touching him, trusting him with his pain, forgiving him. And while Alex cried, nothing in the world could wipe that grin from Miles' face. The happiness that overcame him refused to remain unexpressed, and forced it way out by making the corners of his mouth reach so high Miles feared his face would tear in two.
But when Alex removed his head from Miles' shoulder, the rest of his body retreating too, to look him in the eyes, Miles managed to dim his smile to one that didn't look so overexcited next to Alex' tearstained face, earning him a little smile from Alex in return.
"I'm sorry," was all Alex said, his voice low and gravelly.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, you couldn't know-" Miles started, but something in Alex' eyes made him stop. He looked so conflicted, so sorrowful, so sad.
"Are you okay?" Miles asked tentatively, brushing a few strands of greasy hair from the other boy's face, his tender fingers touching the pale skin of his forehead.
Alex closed his eyes, a pained smile contorting his features.
When he spoke again, his voice sounded constricted, like there was a lump in his throat he couldn't swallow.
"I- I love you, Miles. I really do. But..."
He wiped his sleeve across his wet eyes, sniffing softly. Then, he looked up at Miles, whose smile had now completely disappeared, his pale face so close and yet so far away.
"I can't just pretend this didn't happen," he said, finally. "I can't just go on with- with us like it didn't happen. I need time. I- I promise I'll come around after a while but I- I just need to forget right now. To heal, if you like it."
He rubbed his eyes again, to hide the tears that were forming again.
Miles had felt a slight pang at his words, a sudden numbness that overcame him - but he understood. He stroked Alex' hair, tenderly, as if he was stroking a wild deer, which could run away if he came too close.
"It's okay, Alex. We don't have to rush it. I don't mind waiting for you, whether it's a day or a month or a hundred years. I don't mind at all. I love you, and I want you to be happy, preferably with me-" Alex chuckled softly, but let him continue, "-and I'm willing to wait for as long ad you want me to. Just promise me that you won't cut me out of your life completely, okay? I think last week made it very clear to me that I sortof need you to survive."
Miles laughed at his own confession, an embarrassed laugh that made Alex roll his eyes and smile. "I don't think I've been managing quite so well without you either," he admitted. Miles' heart couldn't help but flutter, and he smiled.
"Friends?" he suggested, looking into Alex' eyes.
"Friends for a while," Alex looked away, and Miles could swear he blushed.