thirteen years ☓ rilaya au [COMPLETED]

two ⇝ thirteen years is a long time

"I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day."

-Vincent Van Gogh

Stay in the Shade, José Gonzáles

"Stay in the shade until you reach the grave..."

❁❁❁

thirteen years later...

april always comes. a little faster than you want it too and you never have time to prepare for the abhorrent crush the month brings.

you spend nights awake, lying in your bed staring at the ceiling. laying in a ball on the couch, staring at the carpet.

you suck up your feelings and move on, because if you don't have time to breathe... when do you find time to think?

your time is preoccupied by your 4 boys and your unborn daughter.
"they're boys." you tell yourself when they track mud into the house, sit on the kitchen counter with scratched knees, or lay on the sidewalk with a gash on their forehead.

"they're just boys." the paramedic tells you as you sit in the back of the ambulance, blood on your shirt and running a hand over your daughter, feeling her kick in response, when you find out noah will be okay.

you hope the boys will soften up when your daughter is born, but your not a soft girl yourself. she has almost no chance for frilly dresses and ponies and pink nail polish.

you have these friends, that you hate. they're "classroom moms" at your sons school. you forgot why you even became friends with them?

(probably becuase of the great baby shower gifts, or the free wine.)

you can't stand them. but you need them, because your 8 hour work day at your art studio isn't enough.

(they also bought jax a bike for his 6th birthday, and he's been asking for a bike for years.)

you don't know what to say to them, so you bite your tongue and say nothing.

;;

as april comes, your emails blow up. news networks asking for you, magazines begging for interviews, photo shoots of you and your family, etc.

you've started ignoring all of them because you're tired of staring blankly into a camera and saying

"she is really missed, and we all hope that if someone knows where she is, they'll tell an authority so we can bring her home."

you don't believe in it anymore. thirteen years is a long time.
just another case, unsolved.

until, you got another email. one not in all caps but correctly punctuated.
you pressed your toddler to your chest, shushing him trying to get him to fall back asleep.

"We find this case particularly interesting and feel our viewers feel communal with us. As the anniversary of the start of this case comes this upcoming April, our program has asked you if you would be enticed to come to our studios and make a documentary and speaking about the case, answering some questions, solving theories, and hopefully putting the case to rest. Please email back with your response ASAP. Thank you."