thirteen years ☓ rilaya au [COMPLETED]

six ⇝ gold and every other color

"How beautiful the leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days."

-John Burroughs

Accidentally in Love, cover by Mia Wray
"How much longer will it take to cure this, just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love..."

❁❁❁

Riley Matthews, 15

you're confused. lost in the constellations and crying hard.

it's 2am and you can't sleep. you're scrolling through tumblr, looking at artwork and reading fan fictions for your favorite ships.
(most of them are gay and remind you of her)

something lights up your screen and it's a picture of rainbows and different color flags and you stare at it for awhile before it takes you to another website.

it's a teen health source website and it lists all the different sexualities and you feel like you belong. you read through them and you memorize the parts of each.

an hour later, you discover you're bisexual. and you start crying.

how. how. you love lucas, not girls. you're the matthews perfect, straight, daughter.

you try to ignore it but you realize it more and more everyday. because of her.

maya hart. the culprit for the things your feeling. you hate her for it, screwing around with your feelings and being that fucking perfect best friend. you hate her.

no you don't.
(you wish you did because maybe then you wouldn't feel this way.)

you love her to pluto and back. you want her so bad, in innocent ways and.. those ways.

at homecoming you felt a tingling sensation when she danced on you. she dragged you to the middle with the boys and you all jumped and danced and you almost kissed her in the lust filled environment, but you didn't.

great job riley, ignoring something else.

your head hurts because you've been crying so much and you diagnose yourself.

it's a drug. it makes you feel high, sometimes makes you feel low. it's unpredictable, but so comforting and you love the way it makes you feel. you take it everyday and a day without it you cry.
(the drugs name is maya hart and you've been addicted forever.)

you wonder if she feels the same, then you laugh because she's perfect. and perfect girls are straight.

then you're crying again because you will never get her to love you. you'll die without her and she'll hate you because you're weird and tried making a move on her.

you fall asleep that night and you dream of a dream where she's yours and you're hers. then you wake up and it's worse because it will never happen.

;;

freshman year passes and it's summer. lucas can drive and maya could, she just would rather be with you in the backseat.

you all take a road trip to the beach that weekend. it took a lot of persuasion from your parents and saving up, but you did it.