letters to you

you're a need

"i'm not over you, if i keep talking to you the feeling will never leave. i know in my brain i have to let you go, but my heart won't let me. it's a constant battle between those two. i can never make any decisions because i know what i need, but i also know what i want.
you for a fact, is want, at times you can also be a need. like how i need to talk to someone, and you're like right there, but too far for me to reach. that's how i'm going to have to deal with it, with this being able to see you but not have you."

i shook my head at the nonsense i wrote, but continued on anyways..

"there's times where i want nothing to do with you, where i hate every single thing about you. but then there's days where all i want is you. where i can't stop thinking of you, where you're on my mind all day. where in class, i study your features. i see you laugh with your friends, you're so beautiful. and when there's that moment where we make accidental eye contact and my heart does the thing. or my stomach gets that good cold feeling, you have a really big effect on me and i'm happy it's you."

love alyssa