"What am I going to say," Nicole thinks to herself as she paces anxiously back and forth at the bottom of the stairs that lead directly to Benedict's flat.
She lifts her hand up to knock on the door but quickly turns around and faces the other direction towards the street.
"We haven't talked in a month. I don't know what's going to happen," she thinks. "Are we even going to have the same connection that we once had before?"
She begins to feel her pulse accelerating and tiny beads of nervous sweat rolling down the back of her neck. She didn't like this feeling of anxiety and she knew she didn't have the strength to go through with what she's supposed to be doing.
She starts to walk back to her car that's parked up against the curb, but stops halfway as soon as Martin and his concerned words he had told her earlier that day popped back into her head. He had said that Ben was in the worst state he had ever seen him in before. That he had acquired a drinking problem and that he hadn't been showing up to his new job. He said that he had tried to get through to him nurmerous amounts of times, but he knew the only person that could do it successfully would be her.
"I have to do this," she murmurs softly under her breath. "I have to do this for Ben."
She slowly pivots on the heels of her feet on top of the icy sidewalk and turns back around to face the front of the familiar flat that she had spent much time in months before. She pushes the anxious thoughts to the back of her head and walks up to his door. There's a slight pause right before she knocks firmly three times against its wooden frame.
Nothing. No answer at all.
She decides to knock three times more, but with even more intensity.
After a couple seconds, she hears loud moaning coming from the other side. She pushes her ear up against the door and recognizes the deep undertones of the voice. It was definitely him.
The loud echoing of footsteps on the floor slowly approached the door causing Nicole to react as if she was almost in a near state of panic. She was afraid to see him. She knew seeing him like this after so long was going to break her heart.
The doorknob turned slowly and the door creaked itself open, allowing the cold winter air to creep inside the flat and tiny pieces of snow to fall upon the door mat.
"N- Nicole..?" the deep groggly voice says as if he was in a deep contemplation with who was actually standing a foot in front of him.
Nicole shifts her gaze from his feet all the way up to his face. A face she could no longer hardly recognize. She lets out a faint gasp and quickly covers up her mouth with her hand.
Who was this man that was now standing here in front of her?
It was not the Benedict that she knew.
She hated to admit it, but he looked absolutely terrible and drained of life. He wasn't wearing anything on his feet, his light grey sweatpants had patches of a darker shade of grey which were most likely some sort of stains, his ripped up faded white shirt was way too big for his body porportions, his hair and facial hair were unkept and unshaven, and his ora of smell reaked as if he hadn't showered in weeks. To make it all worse, he stood there in front of her with a half empty bottle of Vodka dangling from his hand.
"What're - you- doin' heeere Nicole?" he slurred as he spoke.
"...Benedict," she says in astonishment. Her eyes widen as she peeks behind him to the inside of his house and notices multiple bottles of alcohol laying around.
"What happened to you," she says in a soft wimpery voice. She tries to fight back the tears from her witnessing the unfamiliar person standing before her.
"I never... want'd you- to see meeee like this," he says shamefully shaking his head towards the ground. "'Specially cause I did'n wanna see yourrr face when you saw me." He attempts to set the bottle down beside him before spilling it, but he takes a wrong step and trips over his feet.
Nicole can see that he is about to stumble so she rushes up to him and takes ahold of his arms. She holds tight enough to be able to keep him firmly standing straight up on the ground.
"Are you okay?" she asks with a concerned expression on her face. She shifts her gaze up to his and notices he was staring deep into her eyes. It sent butterflies straight to her chest. She knew he was drunk out of his mind in this moment, but it had been a whole month since they had looked into each other's eyes. It made her feel warm inside.
She notices that he was no longer responsive to her questions, and that he was having trouble keeping his eyes open. His body begins to go limp in her arms so she carries him inside the house and over to his couch. She lays him down gently and sets his head onto a pillow. She grabs the nearest blanket and puts it over top of him. She couldn't help but sit down beside his legs and watch him as he layed there so innocently. She missed being able to see him after all this time.
After a few minutes have passed, she begins to feel the weight of the day fall on her at once, and she realizes how tired she really is. She thinks nothing about it and decides to lay her head down on the same couch opposite of Benedict. She keeps her gaze focused out his front window at the falling snowflakes and the cars peacefully driving down the street. As each second passes, the sounds of the cars start to fade and her vision becomes dark.
-----------------------------------
"UHHHHHH."
Nicole jolts herself awake to the sound of loud groaning coming from another room in the flat. She glances around confused for a second until she remembers where she is and how she had fallen asleep in the first place. She got up hesitantly and slowly walked towards the sound. She moved through the dark hallways until she came across Benedict sprawled out on his bathroom floor hunching his body over the toilet.
"Benedict, are you feeling okay?" she asks from the doorway.
He wipes his mouth on the edge of his bathrobe and falls back against the wall behind him.
"Yeah," he breathes heavily with his head leaned back. "I'm okay."
She can tell that he is lying and can see the pain and exhaust in his eyes. She walks over to where he was sitting and sits down beside him. She pulls him close and wraps her arms around him, letting him rest his head against her chest.
"Don't worry, Ben. I'm here for you," she whispers.
She begins lightly rocking them back and forth, and can't help but let a tear roll down her cheek. This situation was definitely taking a toll on both of them, but she knew that they would be able to fight through it. They've already been through so much.
She rests her chin on the tip of his head and kisses it gently.
"I'm always gonna be here for you," she says.
Immediately after saying this, she knows she could feel tears coming from Benedict falling onto her skin, but she was not going to say anything to him about it. She knows how important it is for someone to just let it all out at once.
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Mr. Cumberbatch
Fanfiction"Nicole was confused by all the emotions she was feeling for this man she had just met. Feeling this way was definitely a new experience for her. Never in a hundred years would she have thought she could meet a man like this. He's everything she cou...
