Don't Die, My Love

Chapter 13

Erin's POV

     I'm currently waiting for Dylan to wake up, he's still asleep and he's still in the hospital. I finally heard him mumble something, I look up to see he's awake. "Erin? What happened?" He asks groggily. "You passed out, but, chronic lymphocytic leukemia. A rare type of cancer, and you never told me." He sits up. "How did you find out?" I stand up. "The doctor told me. I have to go, I'll see you at school Dylan." I left, I left him alone and I do feel bad. I just can't help but to be mad at him, why would he keep something like that from me? He told me he would be okay, but in reality, he's worse than I thought. I want to be there for him, but if he dies, I won't be able to handle it. I love him, I really do. I'm glad I'm his reason for fighting, but I didn't know he had to fight so hard. I didn't think he was suffering too much, but I now know he's getting worse day by day when I thought he was getting better. I go back home and sit on my bed, maybe I shouldn't have left him. What if he needs me? What if he's upset now? It would be my fault if he is, I feel bad already. I'll just see him at school tomorrow, I don't need to go back to the hospital. I hate hospitals anyways, I just go for Dylan because he wants me there, because I want to be there for him. Yet, that's the opposite of what I'm doing right now. I feel like crap, complete and utter crap. He probably hates me now, and if he does, it's all my fault.

     At school the next day, Dylan wouldn't even look at me. Did I hurt him that badly? I shake it off and walk to my class, thinking he's just not feeling well considering what happened yesterday. We had free day in class meaning we can do pretty much anything we want. I look over at Dylan, "Hey." I say, but he ignores me. "Dylan, I'm sorry, I w--" He looks up at me. "Erin, just leave me alone. Yesterday was so uncalled for and I needed you, but you left not even giving me time to explain why I never told you." I look down "I... I was just mad." I feel even worse. "I haven't noticed. Be mad then, you don't even know why I never told you." I look back up at him. "Then explain it to me Dylan. What was your reason for lying to me?" I ask. "Because I didn't want to lose you Erin. If you knew straight off the bat I was dying this quickly, I am pretty damn positive you wouldn't have wanted to befriend me. So I never told you." I give him a 'really?' look "That's it?" He looked hurt. "Yeah, I thought that you would understand. Put yourself in my shoes. You don't know what dying feels like, I do. You may be scared of losing me, but how do I think I feel? I know I will probably die. You don't seem to care anymore, I thought we loved and understood each other, but I guess I was wrong." Emotional pain was clear in his voice. "I would have told yo--" "No, you wouldn't have, and you know it. Talk to me when you understand how hard it is." I'm so stupid, he hates me now.

Don't hate me ShadyKaty