Friendship, Love or Nothing ➸ j.t

iv

~ Perrie ~

After dinner, I went straight up to my room. I didn't want to be around anyone. Not even Jade. Now that's a first! I was on my laptop, looking through my tweets, when there was a knock on my door.

"What?" I yelled.

The door opened. "Only me. Just getting my stuff for bed. I'll be out of your hair in a minute," Jade's small voice said. I watched her as she walked over to her bags and pull out the stuff she needed.

"Jade? I'm sorry about before. You deserve to know the full truth," I said, placing my laptop beside me and climbing to the end of my bed. Jade stood up straight and looked at me questioningly. I took a deep breath.

"I was forced to marry Zayn. Well, not forced, but management said if I don't then they'll shut my career down and I'll be over. So I went along with it. Zayn and I met when I was on X-Factor and he was a guest performer. He said he had faith in me that I'll win. After that, we spent more and more time together, and I thought that if you weren't coming back, I should probably move on. So Zayn was my first choice.

"After I won, Zayn asked me to be his girlfriend. I accepted, thinking that this is my chance. You weren't coming back. I had to take my chance while it was within my reach. Both my fans and Zayn's went crazy. They shipped us so hard and before I knew it, management were telling me I was getting engaged," I confessed. Jade didn't say anything, she just came over and sat beside me on the bed.

"Pez, I'm so sorry. I should of called when I had the time, but I chickened out," she said, rubbing my back as a tear fell out of my eye.

"What made you decide to come this time?" I asked, looking up at her big brown eyes.

"To be honest, I missed you and I needed to get out of that place. I was suffocated. I didn't know about the engagement because I couldn't look at your twitter. I couldn't listen to your songs, in case there was one about us. I was scared that you had forgotten me. And it hurt a bit because you were out there, living your dream and I was at Stanford, learning about science. Such fun!" Jade admitted. I smiled slightly.

There was a short silence before Jade said, "When did you announce it?"

I sighed. "It was the 18th of August, when Zayn proposed. We first told the fans about it at his movie premiere. We didn't exactly tell them, I just wore my ring and they figured out the rest." A big sob tore through me. "I do love Zayn, but I don't love him enough to marry him."

Jade smiled. "It's okay, Pez. You can figure it out later. We should go to bed now," she reassured. I smiled at her and got up from the bed. I walked over to my dresser and got out some clean pyjamas. Jade left the room. I changed and sat back on my bed and logged back into Twitter, reading through my tags:

@PerrieEdwardsOffic Who was the girl you were with at Nandos today?

@PerrieEdwardsOffic Was she your girlfriend?

@PerrieEdwardsOffic Cheating on Zayn already! Perrie how could you!?

@PerrieEdwardsOffic You don't deserve to have anyone. Not Zayn, not even the girl you were with today. If she even is your girlfriend.

I stared at the comments. How could people be so harsh? Jade wasn't my girlfriend and I wasn't cheating on Zayn. Why do they always jump to conclusions with me?

Jade walked back into the room before I could reply and I quickly shut the lid of my laptop.

"Ready for bed, Baba?" I asked, setting my laptop on the ground and patting the side of my bed, for her to sit on. She sat down and I put my arm around her shoulders in a hug. She snuggled into my side and then kissed my cheek.

"Goodnight, Pez. See you in the morning," she said before standing up. Before she could move away, I grabbed her hand, pulling her back. I stood up, pulling her into a proper hug. I could feel her smile from where her face was buried in my shoulder.

"I missed you, Baba," I murmured.

"I missed you too, Pez," she replied.

I pulled away. "No, I missed you more than I should have. I shouldn't have used Zayn, and I should have called you myself and visited you in Stanford." I paused. "I love you, Jade Amelia Thirlwall." And with that, I pulled her into a kiss. I felt her knees buckle but I put my arm around her waist before she could fall. She kissed back before pulling away, breathless.

"Wow. I, uh, I need to, uh, um . . ."

I smiled at her. "You don't need to say anything." I kissed her right beside her mouth. "Goodnight Baba." and I let her go. She stumbled a bit before going over to her stretcher bed and hopping in.

"I'm gonna go brush my teeth and say goodnight to everyone," I mumbled and jogged out of the room. I hurried into the bathroom and as soon as the door closed behind me, I cried out, "Yes!" and did a little dance. It felt so right, kissing Jade. Better than kissing Zayn, I can tell you that. Our lips molded together and moved in sync like they were meant to be. I felt a rush from kissing her, not like I feel when I kissed Zayn. And I wanted more. Lots more. I licked my lips, trying to taste her again before I had to brush my teeth. I quickly brushed my teeth and said goodnight to Mum and Jonnie. As I walked into my bedroom, I was pushed up against the wall and kissed again.

"I need more," Jade whispered.

We kissed again and like before, my brain exploded. All I could think about was kissing her back. I didn't think about what I was doing. I didn't think about how this was going to hurt someone. I didn't think about how this was going to ruin my reputation.