Friendship, Love or Nothing ➸ j.t

xvii

~ Jade ~

Perrie and I left the hospital, grinning from ear to ear. We still had to talk things through, which I was dreading, but at least she's sort of forgiven me.

We drove to my house in Stanford, where my mam and brother lived while I wasn't there. We said hello and went straight upstairs.

(No, not to do that you dirty minded people ;)

"Okay, first things first," Perrie said. "What's up with you and Sam?"

"I'm ending it. Because . . . because he's not you. He can't make me feel special the way you do. Yes, he may have a dick and it may have been different but he's not Perrie. He's not my beautiful blonde Perrie who can make me feel special no matter what. I can't even put into words how many times I was lying with him but wanted you. I can't live without you, Pez," I blurted. Perrie sat on the bed, staring at her hands.

"Then why did you do it? Why did you cheat? If you had said you wanted to test your sexuality or something,I would have let you go to a bar and pretend to be a whore for a night," Perrie said, looking up.

I chuckled. "No, you wouldn't have, Pez," I said, lovingly.

Perrie laughed. "Okay I wouldn't have . . . because you're my whore. And I missed you, baba," she said and reached out and pulled me into a hug.

It was silent for a while before I spoke up. "I'm so sorry, Pez. I can't put into words how sorry I am. It was a careless mistake and I will not, I repeat, will not do it ever again," I promised. Perrie pulled away and looked me in the eye.

"That's all I need to know," she said before grabbing my face and roughly pressing her lips to mine. It felt so good to have her back. To feel her hands in my hair and my arms wrapped around her waist. And then I felt the coldness of her ring against my neck and pulled away.

"Your ring . . ." I trailed off. After Perrie and I got together, Zayn had broken off the engagement. But it looks like I've broken her enough to send her crawling back to him.

Perrie's face turned pink and she started to pull the ring off her finger, muttering something incoherent.

I put my hand on hers to stop her. "Perrie. Explain . . . please."

Perrie sighed. "After management found out you and I broke up, they sent me back to Zayn. And they told me not to break it off again otherwise they'd cut my contract," Perrie explained, head down, looking at her lap.

I felt the blood drain from my face. "What? . . . You mean . . . w-we can't . . . we're not supposed . . ."

"We're not supposed to be doing this right now. But I haven't had a call from my management yet so we haven't been caught," Perrie said, light-heartedly.

"So what? We're not allowed to be seen together let alone be together?" I asked, still tryin to process what was happening.

"Look Jade, I shouldn't have done it! I was hurt and I felt betrayed and Zayn was my only option! I didn't know that management was going to say that I had to stay with him! And then Jonnie called and said you were going back to America because Emily had been in a car crash and I knew I had to be there for you because Emily is your best friend and I knew Sam wasn't going to comfort you. Anyway, I was in a dress fitting when I got the call and I pretty much ripped the dress off and-"

"Whoa whoa! Hold up." I held

out my hand like a traffic warden. "You were in a dress fitting?! You're getting married?!" I screeched.

"Management said to get married right away so I can't back out of it," Perrie explained. "Jadey, babe, I'm so sorry. I would call management right now and tell them it's off but it's my career on the line and-"

I held out my hand again. "You would choose your career over me," I said through gritted teeth. Perrie went silent, scared to say something wrong and make me even more mad at her. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Calm down, Jade. It's not worth it.

"Perrie," I said after I calmed down. "Do you love me?"

"Of course but-"

"I said, do you love me?"

"I love you, Jade."

"Then what will it be? Me, or your career?"

"Jade, don't make me-"

"Me, or your career?"