I feel like gravity has gotten the best of me, and I'm completely weighed down.
I wanna be free.
I want to have friends, not just people I socialize with on a daily basis.
It want to be happy.
I want to be kind to people, even if I don't feel like it.
I want music back.
I want my life to be organized
I want to be able to have thoughts that make me feel lighter.
I want to feel like a bird in the clouds, flying high and free with the wind all around me, looking down at the storm below and saying, "I made it through that!"
I want to smile and actually mean it.
I want to have joy.
I want to feel free.
I want to fit in with someone.
I want a friend I can talk to all of the time if I need to, though I am not the best with helping others until I can find myself.
I want to find home.
And until I find home, I can't find happiness.
I want to find home and happiness.
I want to know who I am.
I want passion back.
I want life to be breathed back into me.
I want to love myself.
I want to look in the mirror and smile.
At the moment, I do not. But these things are something I strive to find in the near future. I'm gonna work until I can't work anymore.
"We've made it this far, kid"
My mom said there shouldn't be a period so it's never ending.
There is no closing. It will be. That will be my first tattoo, and I hope that I can make it a few more years to get there.
I want to love myself.
And writing this is the first step.
How do I love myself?
I'm not sure right now.
But if I'm being honest, I know I can find out. With a sliver of hope, that's all I need to push through.
Looking at the dark, clouded sky and listening to this song, I see where I can go and where I will go.
Away.
I want to get out of here but I'm trapped and I never want to leave. Moving on is step one.
I want to completely cleanse myself but I cannot do so if I'm in the same place, right?
I'm not sure.
But today I will find out.
The day is not over yet.
But so far I've done these things:
I've played violin for six years and dedicated a large fraction of myself to doing so.
I've tried and will continue to try and make my life a life worth living. Until next time. Thank you everyone
