its 9:33 pm and im laying here
thinking
im not sure whats going on with me
i was fine
but now i have days where i become so
distant that i get lost and forget how to find my way back to you
my thoughts run wild
i cant catch them theyre too fast
i have so many things i'd like to say
but i physically cant make myself say them
im sorry for making you worry.
i love you, i swear.
i wont ever leave, just be patient with me.
my mind becomes filled with things
that i cant even begin to explain and
i shut down, i didnt intentionally press the power button
i'll scream internally
my thoughts will speed up as i fall
behind and i want to tell you
that im exhausted from trying
to keep up with myself
but my lips are sealed shut,
my own hand unwillingly throws
the key away
and i scramble to get it,
but its gone.
youre more than enough for me
i need you to know that
i need you to know that i need you,
without you i cant
breathe
and without you i'd fall apart
i need you to hold me together
i just need you
and if i could just get out of
my own mind
if i could lock my thoughts
away and forget about them
i'd focus on telling you
what ive been meaning to say
things that ive forgotten about
things that i will gladly pull from the
back shelf
things that will make you realize
that im still falling but not
out of love with you
that i hope you'll still
be there to catch me
things that'll make you understand that
i love you.
__
i wrote this a while ago, and im still in love but this isnt healthy
