If I Leave This World (~Harry Styles~)

Chapter 8

I jolted awake in bed, my head still throbbing. My limbs felt heavy and my back hurt a lot. The hospital room was still dark and I hoisted myself up on my side to check the time on my phone, which read 6:45.

Oh my God.

I was going to meet Harry Styles today.

I was going to meet HARRY STYLES. TODAY.

The pain in my body seemed to vanish as I jumped out of bed. It was obvious that I wasn't going to get anymore sleep tonight. I hopped in the shower to clean off and brushed my teeth. I took a look in the mirror, considering the fact that I should probably wear makeup for this occasion. I had dark circles under my eyes that never seemed to go away, and I was certainly on the pale side. Disgusted with the reflection that was staring back at me, I ran a hand over my bald head. It went without question that I would be wearing a wig today. I always do. No one except for my best friend, mom and doctors see me without one.

Once I was washed up, I checked the time again, which was 7:25. Harry was coming to the hospital at 9:30, so I had plenty of time to get ready. I turned on my music and chose "Little Bird" by Ed Sheeran. This was one of my favorite songs to get ready to, along with Be Like You.

I put some concealer under my eyes and on the few pimples scattered on my face. Chemo makes your skin extremely dry, so thankfully acne wasn't a HUGE problem for me, although I'm no stranger to the occasional breakout. For my pale complexion, I dusted some blush on my cheekbones and put a pinch of bronzer on, making sure not to overdo it. For the eyes, I just put on some mascara because I don't keep a lot of makeup in the hospital with me.

Finally, I put on my brown wig and adjusted it until I was happy with my appearance. Well, as happy as I could be. It had been a while since I'd worn makeup, mainly because I never went out or had any real reason to get dolled up. I looked different, but definitely in a good way. I didn't look as...sick. Even though I felt like death, at least I didn't look like it.

Since I was rather skinny due to my lack of appetite for the majority of my days, I chose a large, oversized sweater so I wouldn't look so frail. I paired it with the only pair of jeans I owned, mentally joking to myself that jeans and a sweater is my version of getting "dolled up".

By the time I was finished getting ready, it was 8:45. In another 45 minutes I would be meeting the celebrity of my dreams. My excitement turned into nervousness and that familiar feeling of weakness and patheticness creeped up on me. I was also in a lot of pain and feeling very sick due to my chemo yesterday, but I wasn't going to let that get in the way of anything. My medicine should be kicking in in the next few hours and I knew that I could tough it out. I've done it plenty of times before. I talked my mom out of visiting me before Harry came because I knew she would try to convince me to not do this, which would just piss me off.

I fidgeted with the fabric of my sweater for a little bit until deciding to go on my phone before checking my email one last time to remind myself of how today would go, as I was sent a schedule a few days ago. Harry would show up with his body guards and we would talk and get to know each other and then, if things work out, we would try to go out to eat. This part would be tricky because, obviously, there would be a lot of fans who would recognize him. However, the worst case scenario would be ordering a pizza and staying in my room.

I really hoped we would go out to lunch. I hated staying in the hospital every day.

The minutes ticked down until the clock read 9:25. Harry would be showing up any minute. At this point, I was basically having a panic attack. What should I be doing when Harry comes in? Should I be on my phone? Pretend to be sleeping? No, that would be dumb. Take a deep breath, Payton. He's just a teenage boy. I wasn't a crazy fangirl but I was definitely nervous to meet such a famous individual.