Black flies (SOA Fanfic)

Moving Day

Before I started my grieving process I just wanted to get the stuff in the house. The babies shared a room since they were both girls they could share a room until things change. I walked out into the living room and saw the girls playing.
"Oh my gosh Juice look"
"What?" He wrapped his hands around my waist.
"Look at how well they play together!"
"Yes, they do." He whispered in my ear.
I turned around meeting his eyes.  I miss Jax so much. But being with Juice makes me happy too. Although were not official yet, he sure acts like we are. The funeral is in two days. I'm still holding in my emotions. I can't let any of them see how hurt and upset I am.. loosing Jax is killing me. Because I know, deep down he's actually gone this time. Last time I thought he was too. But that wasn't real. This is. I hear the gunshot and found him, in our sons room. Although Abel hasn't slept in two days he lays in my bed with me and Juice. Juice didn't have his bed yet so he slept in mine. I guess it was okay, I know he has feelings for me. And I know that later we will be more than friends. But right know we both need to focus on the children.

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Today's the day I say goodbye to Jax. He isn't allowed to have a open casket ceremony due to the gunshot wound. I'll never forget what his face looks like though. He was my one and only. My forever and always. Through thick and thin. Through sickness and health. He was my happiness. He was my king. I never thought I'd be saying goodbye to him so soon. He gave me two beautiful children who will always carry his legacy, Samcro runs in their blood. They will always have a part of the Tellers in them. Arriving at the funeral home made it more real for me and Juice. I could see the tears in his eyes having to say goodbye to a fellow son. I saw Gemma walking up to me. With that shit bag Clay on her arm!!!
"Hey Gem" I said while bending into the car to get Abel, Emma and Brinliea out.
"Hi baby, how are you holding up?"  She asked me with no emotion.
"I've been better, um, not to start anything but why is Clay here?"
"Well this is his sons funeral!" She got snappy with the reply.
"Actually John Teller died back in the 90's in case you forgot.  Because I know your son didn't." I turned around with Brinliea in my arms. Gemma raised her hand and hit my face.
"Gemma!" Tig came running over. Gemma stood in her position where she acted like
she was in shock when we all know she just wanted attention because her sons death wasn't enough. It hurt me. Not that she hit me. But the fact that she hit me while we are both mourning Jacksons death, and I was holding a baby in my arms. I don't think I've ever met someone so selfish and disrespectful in my life. Until I met Gemma. Juice got Emma and Abel out of the car and walked over to me and took Brinleia. "Babe, I think we need to  head in."
"Oh look she's already got another son wrapped around her finger" Gemma said while we were walking away.
We walked in and I sat in a spot right in front of the casket. They had the casket closed, they were unable to reconstruct the wound in his chest. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him. I don't understand why he took his own life. He has two kids looking up to him. He was their daddy. Now, when Brinleia asks where her daddy is what am I supposed to say?  Juice seems to be here now, but what about then.. will he still be here? Does he want B calling him dad? This shits exhausting. I honestly can't wait for it to just be over.
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SHORT CHAPTER. SORRY GUYS,

Stay Beautiful my kings and queens❤️👑👞