Everything Was Beautiful

03

The first day of school was long enough to make me feel exhausted, guys and girls were joking around and calling each other bitches and whores. Technically, I was eavesdropping because I was bored. No one did speak to me, which is great because I hate trying to be friendly, introverts like me would rather stay home all day than to sit with people.

I wonder why people don't like me?

Duh, because I am not a hot chic.

And here, I am lying on my bed holding my almost destroyed book from yesterday and reading it until my arms get tired. I dropped the book on my face, which hit my face too harsh. I was thinking as usual, how would this world end? Is it like what I see in the movies, well technically I know it's not but what they actually embrace in the movies is called some of all fears, where the directors embrace their fears.

I like those kind of movies, where you can see an example of the collapsing of everything.

My favorite movie is called two thousand and twelve, where the world is collapsing.

I don't know, sometimes I wish I could die just to meet the mother that gave birth to me. And sometimes I just wanna live. I didn't mention that I used to cut, to anyone. I hid my scars away from the world, my scars remind me of this ugly world. Those scars, that my friends used to laugh at, were the only evidence that I am still fighting my demons.

Death is inspirational to me, not as a fear. I just think it's inspiring.

I plugged the earphones into the phone, I could pass the time just by listening to music.

I sat alone in bed till the morning, I'm crying they're coming for me

And I tried to hold these secrets inside me, my mind is like a deadly disease

I am bigger than my body

I am colder than this home

Well halsey describes how I feel right now.