Sherlock x Reader Never Hurt You (SEQUEl)

-5-

Silence.
The casket was lowered into the ground.
I stared in complete silence, John and Ms.Hudson by my side. They were crying.. Why wasn't I crying? The man I loved was being buried and all I did was stand there in my own world of pain, but no tears. Maybe I was in denial, one of the 4 stages of grief. Maybe I just didn't actually believe he was gone... Guess that's the same thing isn't it? They began to pile dirt on top of his coffin.
"Stop.." I whispered, I imagined him inside it, alive, trying to find a way out.
"He's in there you have to stop.." I whispered a little louder.
"Y/N.. He's gone.." John side hugged me.
"He can't be.." I finally let the tears fall, and they fell hard, my whole world felt like it had just been thrown into an abyss of despair. I couldn't stop the hot tears as they burned wet trails through my skin, the lump at the back of my throat choked me with every sob. John didn't leave, he was crying too. They all were.. After he was buried people began walking away. They were going to some after funeral party or something.. I stared at his grave from a distance, John was saying a few words now. John walked back and nodded to me as he passed. Slowly I started across the grass and stood at his grave.
"Sherlock.. Whatever you thought you were helping by throwing yourself off of that rooftop, you failed. You've hurt so many people with- I know you're not dead. You can't be dead.. You're not supposed to be dead!" I cried falling to my knees in front of his grave.  "You're supposed to be here with me.. And John.. And Molly.. And Lestrade.. And even Mycroft! We need you.. And now you're gone.. What if Moriarty's accomplice catches me.. You won't be there to save me anymore.." At that I stood up, and turned on my heels, I couldn't take staring at the gravestone any longer. I strode across the grounds and got into a car I was renting for a few weeks, I started it but then just stared forward, before letting my head fall as I let out a painful sob.
"P-please come back..."
-1 Year Later-
I sat in my flat, 221B. I was alone, as usual.. The only company I've had was Ms.Hudson and Kira when she came to London a month ago for a visit. John didn't even to bother to stop by at all after the funeral, he never called, nothing. I still worked, Charles gave up on trying to become my friend last week, after an entire year of me paying him no attention he finally got the hint, though I do feel a bit bad about it.. I looked around at the dust floating in the room, I never bothered to clean it. I sighed and stood up grabbing another glass of whiskey, and downed it. I gritted my teeth as it burned down my throat, that was my third glass this morning.
"Time for work.." I muttered as I grabbed my coat, and walked out the door.
-Another Year Passes-
A knock sounded on the door, I groaned and stood up, walking over to answer it.
(Just saying timelines are a bit screwed up so John and Mary are already married in this)
"Hello Y/N!" I was surprised to see John standing outside.
"So that's why Ms.Hudson was slamming things around.. You're back." I said coldly. He fidgeted uncomfortably.
"Yes.. I am.." He nodded awkwardly.
"Did you decide to come check on your friends, who, you know, protected your life and loved you?" I snapped.
"Y/N I-" I cut him off.
"Don't John, don't act like you're the only person who lost someone. We all miss Sherlock so get off your pedestal of 'I'm the only one who's sad about his death' and come join the rest of the world!" I screamed, I had never been so angry in my life. My heart was hammering in my chest, my fists were clenched, my eyes were narrow. John looked down.
"You're right.."
"Yes I am."
"I'm sorry.." He looked back at me.
"You should be." I growled, going to close the door.
"Y/N wait.." John stuck his foot in between the door and the wall.
"What do you want!?" I pulled it open and gestured for him to come in.
"I want to talk to you, and not this.. Angry.. Hateful you.."
"Well that's all that's left of me." I sighed and sat down, sipping at my glass of whiskey.
"Y/N.. How much of that have you been drinking?" John saw the empty bottles in the kitchen.
"A bottle a day.."
"Y/N that's hard liquor!" John cried.
"So.. It calms my nerves.." I shrugged.
"You really are screwed up now aren't you?" John rubbed his forehead.
"Who let you in on that bit of information?"
"Lestrade, he said you threatened to kill your counsellor, and you have hardly been sober at work.. Which is going to get you fired." John explained.
"Yeah.. I know.." I stared at Sherlock's chair.
"Come on Y/N, how about we go out for dinner together?" John stood up. I thought for a moment before signing.
"Okay.." And I stood up and follow'd him.

Wow this chapter is short but it's kinda just a run through of what your life looks like without Sherlock!
Ahem. The phone was shattered in the last chapter, so if you'd all join me at its funeral..
This phone was only young, two years old.. But it faced a bitter end by meeting the floor screen first.. This phone was used for texting Sherlock.. And her other friends.. And now it has passed.. Let us keep the phone forever in our memories