Sherlock x Reader Never Hurt You (SEQUEl)

-6-

The restaurant wasn't that busy, it was kind of nice, I was sober(ish) and I had a friend with me.
"So how are you and Mary?" I asked, trying to create small talk.
"We're good! We're thinking of having a baby." John smiled excitedly.
"Oh my gosh that's amazing!" I smiled back, clapping goofily. John laughed and glanced around.
"I know, I'm quite excited myself!" John's eyes gleamed with happiness. The restaurants cheerful noise brought life back into my breaking soul.
"How about after dinner we go and get you a new phone?" John pointed to the cracked mobile that remained in my purse.
"It's been two years.. I think it may be time to move on!" I shrugged, laughing.
"May just be!" John grinned and laughed. We sat there discussing how life has been, but I was still a bit angry with John for never being there.
"Allo Allo my friends what may I get for you tonight?" A French waiter reached our table, I hardly looked at him, just shot him a quick glance.
"Uh yes, what are your best drinks?" John asked, I drifted off while the waiter rambled about something being familiar, and such. I stared at my menu thoughtlessly.
"Oh my god.." I heard John gasp. I looked up and to the waiter. I felt my stomach lurch, I froze staring up at the ghost of a man that I had loved so dearly, but he wasn't a ghost..
"Sherlock.." John muttered.
"You let me grieve, and weep at your grave and you were still alive?" John's voice was quiet but terrifying.
"Yes, and I am sorry..." Sherlock murmured. I stared at him.
"Y/N..." He turned to me. I didn't reply, my body was completely frozen.
"Admit it John you've missed me-" as he turned back to John, he leaped to his feet punching him.
"John!" I cried running over hauling him off of Sherlock.
"You- YOU!" John shouted. I held him back with the best of my strength.
"John!" I screamed, putting my hand on his face pushing his gaze away from Sherlock, I hoped it would distract him from trying to kill the figure who stood only a few feet away.
"2 years!!" John roared. I turned back to Sherlock.
"Maybe we shouldn't be in a public area...." I suggested. We all stepped outside and went to a small diner.
"You're alive and you never told me!" I finally snapped
"Or me!" John cried. We both glared furiously at him.
"There was a mission, Mycroft set it up.." He began to explain.
"So Mycroft knew?!" John yelled. Sherlock looked at both of us and sighed. He gave us the whole story about why he left, he didn't say how he survived or anything, but he at least told us why. It didn't make me any less angry. Now that I was coming out of my self sulking I finally noticed John's moustache.
"John.. Your lip has fur.." I commented. Sherlock chuckled, noticing that I may have had a little bit too much wine.
"You never noticed?" John asked.
"I had other things on my mind.." I giggled and ordered a beer.
"Maybe you shouldn't drink any more.." Sherlock gazed worriedly at me.
"Trust me, this is like a Tuesday afternoon for me!" I slurred, taking the beer from our waiter's hand and chugged it. Sherlock snatched it away from me, accidentally pouring a little on me.
"Rude!" I snapped. John sighed and shook his head.
"I'm going home." He stood quickly and began to storm off.
"John.." Sherlock started.
"Sherlock. Don't." He growled and walked out the door.
(Might end up writing a Johnlock fanfic soon :/)
I turned back to Sherlock.
"You can't be real.." I whispered.
"I am.." Sherlock gripped my hand tightly.
"You're dead." I stared at him, the room twisted in my drunken mind.
"I'm right here..." Sherlock stood and helped me up.
"I missed you.." I muttered as he lead me to a cab.
"I had a longing to be with you as well.."
"You hurt me.." I felt a tear roll down my face. Sherlock fell deadly silent. He helped me into the cab, I was drunk but the words I said were true. I sounded like a child when I said them, but they were true. His death broke me, I started drinking every night so I could pass out, because I couldn't fall asleep on my own. He was in my dreams, his voice haunted my head, he was killing me. I missed him more than anything, I cried for a week straight, screaming into a pillow, and Ms.Hudson would come up and try to calm me down but usually she'd call an ambulance, and admit me to the hospital due to the severity of my panic attacks. People would give me pitiful looks everywhere I walked, I could hear them saying.
"Thats Sherlock Holmes's girlfriend.."
"Poor thing.."
I hated their pity, I hated the way they stared. I hated the way they talked to me when they asked how I was doing, they treated me like a child lost in a storm of sorrow. And through all that he was alive.. The entire time.
"You.. You broke me.." I growled tearfully.
"Y/N.." Sherlock's voice broke sorrowfully. I felt a hand rest upon my shoulder, I didn't even try to brush it away, no matter how mad I was at him I couldn't hate him.. I loved him too much. We sat in silence the rest of the drive home. When we reached the flat I heard Sherlock shift.
"I'm sorry.." He muttered. I turned my head and looked at him.
"I... I can't forgive you right now.. You left me for two years without a word. Do you know how lonely that was?" I looked him directly in the eyes.
"I don't.. But I understand.." Sherlock nodded awkwardly. "Just know.. I'd never hurt you.."
"I don't trust you.. You hurt me way worse than anyone ever has!" I felt tears roll off my face.
"Please understand.." Sherlock pulled me into a hug. My arms hung limply at my side.
"Please help me understand.." I pulled away, and got out of the cab.. I walked away and into the flat. I went up the stairs and into my office. I sat alone staring at the wall. I slowly stepped out and saw Sherlock sitting at the kitchen table, he appeared to be in his mind palace. I passed him, but felt him grip my wrist.
"Please look at me." He begged. I turned and looked down at him. He slowly rose to his feet.
"I'm never going to be able to fully explain what I did.. But every moment I was gone I wanted to come home. Im sorry I don't feel guilty... I can't.. But I do know I love you.." His gaze pierced my own. I felt his hand wrap around mine. "Please forgive me.." Sherlock whispered. My heart raced in my chest, my mouth gaped trying to come up with a response. I didn't even notice how much I was crying, I didn't care.
"Give.." I stopped to try and breath, my voice sounded strangled. "Give it some time.." I finished, Sherlock backed away, I could see the mixture of anger and confusion in his eyes.
"What else can I do to make you forgive me!?" He shouted.
"You can't do anything.." I stared at the ground.
"I apologized! That's what I'm supposed to do-"
"What you're supposed to do is let your girlfriend know that you're not dead!" I screamed.
"I had no choice!" Sherlock yelled.
"You always have a choice!" I turned my back to him and sobbed. I wiped the tears away. He froze and looked at me.
"Y/N... I'm so sorry!" He walked towards me. I couldn't reply. "You're.. You're right.." He nodded.
"Then give me time to accept that you're.. Alive.." I whispered. The room fell silent, he was thinking, I could tell.

"Okay.."