pastel darkness. 》》 phan

one.

Written October 10th, 2016
* trigger warning

Dan sat in his bathtub, naked, crying. Blood dripped from his arms and surrounded his naked body. He was home alone again.
His mother had killed herself a week ago, from suicide. She has the most beautiful chocolate eyes, Dan was glad he shared them with her. A lot of Dan's physical attributes were from his mother, his eyes, hair, height, smile and his smooth skin. The only thing Dan had ever inhereted from his father was scars and broken bones.
The death of his mother didn't make his father let up, but his mourning father took his sadness and anger out on Dan.
Dan grabbed his head and screamed, his voice cracked and he coughed. Blood matted his hair, covered his legs.. He sobbed.
His mother had the warmest hugs. She'd engulf you completely. She was Dan's happy, his light in his own darkness. She had left him a note he had yet to read.
He put on boxers, to cover himself somewhat, and walked out of the bath, shaking. His arms burned. They bled quite a bit, but not enough to have an effect. He walked to his sink and used bandage wrap thst had cotton to stop bleeding and wrapped it around his arms, he hissed at the burn.
He walked out, his tears still going, but slowly now. He stared at his dresser where the nite was. It was wrinkled, and the paper was crumpled.
He opened it. He noticed his mothers hand writing emmedietly. He saw that the ink from the blue lines on the paper where smuged from tears and her handwriting was shaky.

Danny,

Hey, baby. I want you to know this is not your fault. I couldn't go on any longer, but I want you to hold on, baby. I will miss you. Once you turn eighteen, please, get the fuck out of that house. Never ever look back and run from him. I couldn't write much here because I fear he'll find me before you do, and finding this note before you do, too. But if you go to our secret place I left something for you.
I love you, baby boy.
 
- mommy

Dan reread the note an unhumane amount of times. He wasn't ready to back to their place, but he would soon. It was a place his mother and him went to hide from Tom. A place she made for them to be safe.

Dan was shaking. He cried. He folded the paper and placed it on his dresser. He was sixteen. He didn't want to do this, but he would for his Mom.

Dan laid in bed that night, his mind went a million miles an hour. He got on his phone, and went on Tumblr. It was the only place he had friends, social media. He turned on his music and scrolled through Tumblr until he was too exhausted to continue.