"No one asked me too?" I repeat and his eyes soften once he realizes what the words he said were.
"Carter..."
"Zayn" I state coldly.
"I didn't mean it like that..." he says reaching a hand out for me.
"You never mean it like that" I state standing dangerously still.
"Carter..don't be so harsh you know how I feel about you"
"Do I?" I say looking at him and he bites down on his lip. A nervous habit he always does. I stand up and fix my shirt then hair and force a smile.
"You know what? It's fine. You can go back to Boston and I'll spend the week here. Okay?" I offer and he shoves his hands into his pockets.
"You know I don't want that"
"I don't want to force you to be with someone that you didn't want to begin with. It's okay. I'll be fine" I smile again and he gives me a confused look.
"You'll be fine?"
"Yes"
Was he really going to leave?
"Are...this is what you want then?" he asks raising his eyesbrows and stepping back towards the door a little.
This isn't what I wanted. So I didn't answer - if he wanted to leave he could leave. I wasn't going to force him. I wasn't going to make him do anything anymore.
"Carter?"
I nodded and he smiled a little.
"Do you want me to leave?"
"Do what you want" I replied harshly. I walked away from where he was standing and into the bathroom where I could cry in peace.
Zayn's POV:
She was distant. I felt her sadness from the doorway as she stepped into the bathroom. I didn't stop her. I just nodded at her response and began packing my things. She told me to do what I want - so I was going too. I didn't want to leave but I didn't want to stay either. I just wanted a secluded place for me and Carter. Just a place where I could be with her and things wouldn't be so complicated.
I wrote a tiny little note on the dresser where she'd see it and I just left. Home to Boston. I don't know if she'd forgive me this time. This time she is probably going to be done. And maybe a small part of me wanted her to be done with me so that way I'd stop hurting her. That way she could be happy with Matt or Niall or Louis even. Just someone. I want her to be happy. Even if it's not with me.
I walked out to my car and began putting my things into the trunk. I look up and there he is. Matt.
"You guys are leaving already?" he says placing a beer bottle to his lips.
"Um...no just me" I state honestly and he nods. The alcohol I had consumed earlier has completely left and I ponder if I should just punch Matt so I could take his bottle.
"So Carter's inside? Alone?" he asks with a dirty smirk on his face. It plays in my head over and over and I get even more furious.
"Yes" I say against my gritted teeth.
"Niice" he says nodding.
"Leave her alone" I threaten and he laughs to himself before placing the brown bottle up to his face again.
"What? You're not her boyfriend"
"How the fuck do you know!" I stammer and step closer to him.
"She told me" he says with the brown bottle hovering close to his lips.
"Listen douchebag-" I begin but he laughs and cuts me off with his own staggering words.
"No you listen...you just run off to Boston where you belong. I don't want you near her. You go me? She is too good for scum like you. She deserves someone better. Someone like me." he says stepping from his place to intimidate me. Small white flakes begin to fall down and I hold back from punching him in the face.
"She doesn't deserve you either."
"At least if I had a fight with her I'd be trying to fix it and not running off" he states and then throws his bottle on the ground where it clings to the pavement and breaks. He smiles his dirty grin then enters his small hotel room and I stand watching the snow flakes accumulate.
Just go inside.
Just apologize.
Fix things.
Fix her.
Carter's POV:
The cool water from the sink helps me calm down. I hate him.
I begin to scrub my face hard and I don't know why I just wanted him to fight for me.
I wasn't mad at me.
I wasn't sad anymore - the sadness was drained.
I was just disappointed.
I was disappointed because I was pushing for something that was never going to happen. I was forcing him into my life. Into my idea of a fairytale ending; he had no intentions of even staying with me I bet. He just was using me.
This was all a game to him.
I was the only one who was trying. I was fighthing so hard for him.
"Carter! I'm sorry!" Zayn says stepping into the small bathroom. Snowflakes fallen over his leather jacket and hair. His shoes covered in the small flakes and he's nervously biting his lips.
"What?" I stammer and step back only to have him come in closer.
"I'm sorry. I'm an asshole. I literally destroy everything and I just don't know what I'm doing I'm trying so hard though. So hard. And maybe you don't realize it or something but I don't know. I'm sorry ok? And if you still want me to leave I will. Say the words and I'm out of your life. For good. But please don't say those words because I don't want to lose you" he begs and I melt. This is it. This is what I wanted. Zayn to fight for me.
