I Am Harlem (urban)

Chapter 1

"Being a black woman in society.......

"I'm only a bitch if you put bad in front of it" "a five star chick? Hell yeah thats me" society has this thing that all black girls have to have thick thighs, a fat ass and a baby daddy. Well that's not true. We as black girls are fighting over "team light skinned and team dark skinned" when in reality we need to be "team black" society gives us a bad name why? Because some of us walk around as if it's okay for a guy to constantly talk down on them as if they were a peasant instead of a Queen. Being a black woman in today's society means living off welfare, and not finishing high school because you got pregnant and have to drop out. I'm tired of being judged by society for my skin color. And I be damned if I let it define me. Walking around patting our weaves, smacking gum, and living in the projects? Very stereotypical if you ask me. I follow no stereotype. I don't follow society's outlook of me. I define myself. I am young, educated, and black. A black female living in a society that will never define me...."

I opened my eyes, after finishing my first ever poetry reading. I looked out in the crowd as they all stood to applaud me, seeing different type of people black, white, Puerto Rican, Asian, all different types of races applauding me. I felt as if I was starting to change people's outlook.

"Thank you everyone my name is Janae but I go by Harlem. I appreciate you guys so very much thank you again"

I walked off the stage and over to the bar counter. "Ayo Harlem you did ya thing girl. Mad props" I smiled and gave him a thanks before turning to my friend Ricky. I took a deep breath and he handed me a cup of coffee.

"I've never been so scared of a reading before in my life."

"You ain't go nothing to worry about ma. I mean you did good. It was your first time and you was slaying! I ain't know you had skills like that."

I took a sip from my coffee and let the smooth sound of the jazz take me a ride. I felt in my zone. I've been writing ever since I could remember. I glanced over at Ricky talking to another customer, he was the one who convinced me to read tonight. I remember the first time he read my writing....

"Ayo Harlem whatchu doing? Lost in that damn book again I see."

He plopped down on my bed kicking off his shoes and grabbing his phone.

"Ayo! Chill with all that! Ricky you know I hate it when my room is messed up."

I got up from my windowsill, grabbed his shoes and put them next to my dresser neatly, and fixed the picture of my baby brother on the wall. I turned around and saw Ricky in my notebook.

"Ricky give me that!" I lunged for it but he held it above his head, still reading.

"Damnit Ricky! Give me my notebook!"

When he was finished reading he gave me it back and looked at me differently.

"Harlem why didn't you tell me you wrote about all that? That you felt all that? The way your w.."

"Look I don't feel like talking about it okay?"

"You got mad talent Harlem. You need to read it, people need to hear it......"

Ever since then he has been begging me to read at the poetry club. I laughed too myself, grabbed my coffee from the counter and left a 10 dollar tip for him. Wrapping myself up in my jacket and scarf, I put my earbuds in and started for the door. Motioning towards Ricky, that I was leaving I pushed the doors open and a gust of the cold Harlem air hit me.... 

"I get so high I touch the sky till I can't even function..." I looked down at my phone, to see a text message from Ricky. I was so lost in my music, and just watching the walls past by on the subway, I hadn't realized he texted me for the third time. 

 Ricky :)

Hey what are you doing later tonight?

Harlem :P 

Taking care of baby boy, watching movies and ordering a pizza nothing too serious. haha. 

Ricky :) 

Can I come over? We haven't chilled in a while, I miss my best friend Jay. 

Harlem :P 

:) Yeah you can come over. I don't care, plus Kaden hasn't seen you in a while. 

Ricky :) 

iight ma, ill see you around 9. Thats good?

Harlem :P 

Perfect. 

I sent the text message and went back to my music, I took a deep breath and just sat back and relaxed. People say that music calms the soul, that the world becomes yours in a matter of seconds. They might be right. I had about 10 more minutes until my next stop and I just let the sounds of Asap, Kendrick, Pac, and Biggie carry me to a different world.... Walking down the street of Harlem you get to see a lot. The drug dealers, prostitues, the "wanna-be" thugs slash rappers. But thats the bad part of town. Once you look deeper in the streets you see the people like me. Trying to make it out, doing everything, everything equal that is. Just to get free. When a mother bird says its time for her babies to leave the nest they fly... But me? Yeah I got my wings at a young age but flying. I still hadn't done that yet. I got problems of my own to deal with. At the age of 16 you could say it's a lot to deal with but.. I'm used to it. I'm still at home, taking care of my baby brother Kaden, being his mother and father figure because I have know idea where ours actually are. My mom's probably selling herself for some drugs and my dad is probably the one pimping her out, that or he is in jail. I wouldn't be surprised either. 

"What's up shorty you gone let me get at that?" 

"No, I don't even know you dude, get outta here with that." 

I walked up the steps to our apartment complex, when I felt him grab my arm. He had one hell of a grip ill give him that much. But I wasn't about to let him break me. 

"Yo Bitch! watch who you talking too hoe" 

I sucked my teeth and turned around, being disrespectful was my biggest pet peeve. I pointed my finger in his face. 

"Look you little hood rat, you trying to get at me. Don't! get shit twisted. I'm not one of these hoes on the street you can fuck and duck with iight?" 

I snatched my arm away from him and just in time Ricky walked up pulling down his hood mean mugging. The guy looked at him and immediately apologized to me. "My bad Ricky, I aint know this was your b.." 

"My what?" Ricky asked him with a slick voice giving him a chance to correct himself. 

"Nevermind, look ma im sorry for being disrespectful. Won't happen again." 

I shook my head, rolled my eyes and went up to my apartment with Ricky right behind me. "Look Harlem I'm sorry about that." He grabbed my arm and spun me around to look at him, but I really wasn't having it. I was tired, irritated and I don't need his 'I'm sorrys' 

"Whatever Ricky I dont feel like talking about this, its not like it hasnt happened before." 

"I know but i just.." 

"Want to protect me?" 

"Yeah..." 

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