I Am Harlem (urban)

Chapter 2

The feeling of someone tightening their grip around me woke me up. Rubbing my eyes I looked around and noticed I was on the living room couch, wrapped up in Ricky's arms and a blanket. I tried getting up but he pulled me closer to him. I turned over and looked up at him with my face all scrunched up.

"What are you doing? Let me go" I laughed still trying to get loose.

"Nope, you have to say please" his sleepy voice was so cute. Just the little things made me think of him and want him as more. But I kept my feelings to myself. I can't risk losing him...

I gave him a puppy dog face and he sighed letting me go. I got up, and went upstairs to check on my baby brother. I glanced in his room to make sure everything was okay, then headed back down. On my way to the kitchen someone knocked at the door. I checked the clock and it was five in the morning.

"Who in the hell is knocking at 5?"

I jogged over to the door and opened. Another crack head, shaking from his addiction. And itching like he had chicken pox. It brakes my heart seeing people live life like this.

"H-h-hey Harlem is ya momma home?"

"Nope, I ain't seen her or my dead beat daddy since.." I cleared my throat trying not to break down. "Since Jason died"

"O-o-okay then.. Well maybe she-she is at J-Boogs cl-cl-club"

My eyes shot up at him. He knew where my momma was at? Should I go see her? Should I tell her to come home? Or should I just see how she is doing? I grabbed my coat, and left a note for Ricky setting it on the table so it's noticeable. Making sure I had my phone and gloves I rushed outside into the cold morning air. I put my earbuds in, pulled my hood over my head and of to J-Boogs I went.

Looking both ways I crossed the street and over to the nightclub. Well more like day and night club. J-Boogie likes his money, and if there were any way he could keep making it he would do it. Therefore his club stayed open day and night. In the daytime it was just more of a bar. Oh but at night it was the biggest strip club in Harlem.

"Heyyy baby, I'm willing to do anything for some money"

I stopped in the middle of the parking lot and watched as my mother sold herself to some guy in a old beat up Honda. He was hanging outside the window, tongue all out. Disgusting pig. But I couldn't really talk my mom threw herself at him like damn lost puppy. Her shirt hanging down showing her bra, her ass hanging out of her shorts.

"Haha yeah baby I do it ALLL. Hahaha. Let's go somewhere private. I can show you some tricks"

"Oh really? How much do I have to pay?"

"20 dollars and I'm yours sweetheart" she slumped over and pushed her boobs up into his face. He looked like a kid in a candy store. My gaze broke from them as I heard someone yell her name out followed by the name "bitch" I turned back to my mom and she took off.

"Don't run now hoe! You owe me money! Ayo someone go get that bitch!" A bunch of guys took off in different directions and I took after her too. It looked like she was heading towards an alley. Guess she lost her smarts too. I slowed down out of breath. The cold air burned as I took it in.

"Momma!! Where are you going?!"

"Janae I'm leaving I can't handle this anymore I need to go."

Grabbing her arms I tried my hardest to convince her to stay. What the hell was I going to do at the age of fourteen with a seven month old baby? That I didn't have? She was the mom.. It was her responsibility to take care of him

"You can't just run away! You have to talk about it!"

"DAMNIT JANAE!! Jason is gone okay! He is dead! It's my fault... I should have been watching him."

I watched my mom die in front of me a little everyday since the death of my little brother. I blamed her for it I'm not going to lie. If she hadn't been sleeping around maybe he would still be here. Maybe if she wasn't so involved in drugs he would still be that happy little toddler, brightening up everyone's day...I blamed her for it.. And I prayed that the guilt stayed with her till the day she died.....

I snapped back into reality when I heard a terrifying scream, an the sound of a gunshot.

"MOMMA!! MOMMA!!!!"

I slid on some ice as I turned the corner, but I wasn't going to let that stop me.

"Stop!! Please!! I'll pay it! I'll pay her debt!"

I continued running, pleading and begging no one deserved to die like this. No matter how pissed off I was no matter how much hatred I had for her I still loved my mom.

"I can pay it! I'll get you your money just don't kill her!"

I stopped as I saw group of people standing around a body. My heart fell into my stomach. I was too late. I shouldn't have stopped. I should have kept going. I could have saved her. Tears formed up in my eyes as I stood there behind the crowd, pushing through I made it to middle, and covered my mouth in disbelief...... It wasn't her.

"Oh god." I felt my heartbeat return to normal. I looked around the crowd but she was nowhere to be found. She was gone.

"Dammit!" I pushed through the crowd and went home.

........

"A lot of people don't know my story.. Growing up in a crooked home... Trying to find the best ways to stay off the streets and not become someone's trick. I didn't know what to really do. Daddy left at a young age. Older brother graduated and moved on. He made it out but will I? Or will I be stuck here? Wishing, praying and begging for a way out. My baby brother died, moms fault but she don't care. She left me with a 7 month old to care for. While she ran the streets. Doing something strange for some change. If they begged? Oh yeah she'd give in an spread her legs.. To any man who was will to pay. She gave freebies if the were cute enough. But did that do enough? For her yeah. She got the drugs weed and everything in between. While her now 16 year old slaved like a dog to be a Role model. When is my life going to start? Huh? When can I finally say enough is enough...."

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