I Am Harlem (urban)

Chapter 10

"Janae!! Janae!!!' a drunk and slurred voice yelled at the door early in the morning. Banging on the door, continuously screaming my name out, I woke up to find myself on the floor of the kitchen, with half a glass of wine on the floor alongside my pen and notebook. Yes, I shouldn't be drinking I'm sixteen years old. How did I get the wine? Well lets just say that I have my ways. But I needed it. I deserved it for all the pain, I've endured. And it helped me release all of that. All of that built up frustration was emptied with that one glass of wine, that slowly made its way down my throat. Cup in one hand. Pen in the other releasing it all. Letting all of it flow out of me like the currents of a white water stream. I am broken, torn apart, and just over it all.

"Janae! Baby! Please open the door!" Groaning, I sat up, wiping my eyes. Who the hell is this? It's not Ricky, because he knows not to come through banging on my door like he is the police. And he has a  key. It's not the landlord. I walked to the door and looked through the peep hole. Only to have my heart sink into my stomach and the feeling of the wine rise up my throat. I swallowed it. Who was at my door? Who is suppose to be the one woman in your life that is suppose to teach you how to be a woman? To tell you, to carry yourself a certain way and other important things that a father never could? I didn't want to answer. My heart was telling me not to answer. But my head told me that I needed to talk to her. I needed something. I couldn't figure out what it was, but I needed something from her. My body went numb as the feeling of my hand gripped the doorknob and gave it a turn. Pulling it open I was faced to faced with the last person I wanted to see.

"Hey baby" Her voice shaky.  Body limp. She barely looked the same. I looked at her and just felt sorry for her. But then again I felt like she didn't deserve my pity. Because she left me by myself with my baby brother. In this dead, silent house with no one to help us.

"What?" I was dry, and bitter. Hell I had a reason too right? I haven't seen her in forever, and when I had seen her I wasn't surprised that she was bent over, with her chest out trying to catch some guys attention. Well anyone's attention for that matter so that she could get a easy dollar to buy more drugs.

"NaeNae?"

A faint voice in the hallway came about, with tiny footsteps following it. My mom leaned to the side and pushed passed me running after Kaden, so "happy" to see him. "Baby!!" she screamed. Kaden jumped and tried to run past her to get to me. Only to get caught up in her rags. "Momma stop, just let him"

"No! this is my son! This is my baby!" As she tried to kiss him he kept moving about trying to get loose. "NAE!" he cried. "Momma I said let him go!" I took him from her, and he latched on to me as if I was his lifeline. Well because I was his lifeline. I was this little boys world and I hadn't really knew it until then. He didn't know her. He hadn't met her before a day in his life. Well he had but, its not like he really remembered all that. I set him down and got down to his level.

"Kaden that's momma."

"No!"

He could be stubborn at times, but this time he meant business. He was not budging. "Yes, that's momma" He shook his head and wrapped his arms around my neck "You're momma NaeNae" That hit me the hardest. I didn't know how to tell him. I was the one taking care of him. I was the only thing he knew. I picked him up and sat him on the counter while I walked over to the person I thought I would never see before in my life. I just chased this woman down. The fact that she is in my apartment. At this very moment, what do you do? I did what no one thought I would do. I invited her in, to sit down. Knowing how I am, I wanted to get to know her. What she was doing with herself, help her if I could. She was still my mother. She didn't act like one. But she did give birth to me.....