Hope Is all I Need

My kids are my life.

"Mama." I looked in the mirror.
"Yes Marcus?" He looked at the front seat than me.
"Can I sit in front, I fell squish?" I looked back at the road, not wanting to stop.
"Can you wait till I get off the highway?" He nodded his head. And looked at the other cars. I drove the next 6 miles then I needed gas. I got out of the car, and looked around. It was a small place two other cars were parked. I walked to the pump and started filling the car up. I opened the back door and told Marcus that he can move up. I walked into the store to pay.
"Hello."
"Hi. I looked at the man. He was over weight, with barley any hair.
"What are you doing out her all alone?" I said nothing to him and handed his the money for my gas. "I asked you a question." I turned around and started to walk out. I got into my car and saw him calling someone. I started to drive, trying to get away from that man. Marcus looked at me. So I put music on just so there was something but it was vary low. I didn't want him to worry.
"Mama?"
"Yes baby?" He grabbed my hand.
"We're we going?" I started to tap my other hand. I was about to cry, not really knowing why.
"I don't know." There was silents. Non of us talked for awhile. I looked down at him. I rubbed his hand.
"We're do you want to go?" Marcus is my only kid that thinks before he speaks so I give him time. He looked up at me and smiled.
"Home."
"Marcus." I was about to say more.
"No mama I want a new home in the woods." I looked at him.
"The woods?" He nodded his little head.
"Yeah away from everyone." I nodded my head looking at the road.
"I like that." His little face lit up.
"Really."
"Yeah that way I don't have to put you in a new school."
"And I can paint my own room with you." "Right."
"But now we have to repaint the twins room."
"That's ok now we know a little more about them so we can paint there room to fit them." "What do you mean?"
"We Alice needs a blue room."
"But blue is for boys."
"Yeah but I can tell she is going to be a tomboy."
"Oh and Aria?"
"Pink."
"Caleb?"
"Green."
"And me?"
"Whatever color you want."
"Really?!"
"Yes Really."
"I love you mama."
"I love you too." We we're so deep in the conversion I didn't realize where we were.
"We're are we."
" Um I don't know."
"Mama."
"What?"
"You always get us lost."
"I do not."
"Can I play on your phone?"
"Yeah baby."
"Hey mama?"
"Yeah."
"Why do you call me baby?"
"Because you were my first baby."
"I don't like it."
"Well what do you want to be called?"
"Marcus."
"Ok Marcus no more baby." I don't want him to grow up that was the last of me calling him that but that wont stop me. We drove in silents after that till I got to the pack house.
"Marcus do you want to come in or stay here?" "Come in." Then I saw mom. I waved her over. "Hey mom can you watch them."
"Yeah."
"Come on Marcus." Everyone was watching me.
"Mama."
"Come on baby." They all know I left Josh and it probably shocked them we were the best couple here never fighting only over our kids. They all watched us grow up and make a life together. I walk into the only older sibling I ever had Max. I walked in and he hugged me. "I'm sorry." He said to me. "What are you going to do?" He asked me.
"Well I asked Marcus and my answers were home and grandpas." He took a deep breath.
"So?"
"Marcus said he wants to move to the woods just far enough from everyone." He smiles a littleS
"Ok and you need help."
"Yeah."
"Well the is one house it was built a long time ago for a mom and her to kids but they never got to move in." I looked at Marcus. He was falling asleep in my arms.
"Who's house was it?"
"Your moms." I was in shock, why did I not know this.
"She had a house?"
"Yeah it has 8 bedrooms 3 1/2 bathrooms and some other things. You want it?"
"Yeah, of course." He got up and found the keys on one of the hooks.
"Do you want me to bring you to it?"
"Sure you want to drive the van?" He fallowed me out of the room. I was carrying Marcus since he was fully asleep now. People were talking. But stopped when they saw us. We got to the car.
"Thank you." Than she walked off not saying a word. I shook Marcus.
"Marcus go get in you seat."
"Ok." I got in and put my seatbelt on. We started driving.
"It's 3 blocks from my house." We got there and it was so beautiful.
"Wow."
"Yeah everyone wants its but I couldn't it's yours."
"Thank you."
"You want to help me carry things in and people?"
"Yeah."
"Come on Marcus." Max looked at me. When he got closer he asked.
"Why are you not calling him baby?" I smiled.
"He doesn't want me calling him that anymore." He shook his head.
"Wow."
"Yeah let's not talk about it." He just laughed. Soon the other kids woke up. "Hey babies." "Mama were are we?" Caleb asked.
"Our new home." They all looked confused. Marcus is running like a maniac. "Marcus stop."
"Fine."
"Ok come on let's go up stairs." I got the twins and we started walking up the stairs. I put all the kids in one room for tonight just because it is a new place for them. Once they were all asleep I went back down stairs by Max. I sat next to him and he stayed quiet.
"I am sorry."
"You shouldn't have too be."
"But I am."
"So how long?"
"Sense you guys were 16."
"Why didn't you tell me?" He just looked at the ground. "Max."
"I didn't want my babysitter to leave."
"Max."
"See if I told you when you were 16 17 or 18 before you had the kids you would be gone."
"Max that's not true."
"Really if you didn't have your kids were would you go?" I looked down he was right I would have ran away but it is different now.
"Max were would I have gone?"
"You would start running and wouldn't get vary far."
"Exactly because you would have came to get me to make sure I was safe."
"Can I tell you something?"
"Sure."
"When we were little everyone thought we were mates."
"What!?"
"You and josh were close but like friends we had a brothers sister relationship and people thought because we spent so much time together."
"Wow I didn't realize we did."
"Until you started dancing."
"Can I tell you something?" He nodded his head.
"I knew about her. I just didn't know who or the whole story." He looked at me shocked.
"You knew this whole time?" I nodded my head. I quickly changed the subject.
"You know they have offered me my sport back."
"Who is charming?"
"Um his name is Zach."
"Ok well it might feel weird."
" I know but if it makes me happy again I will do anything."
"That's my girl."
"Yeah well I don't know what to do."
"Well what's more important?"
"My kids happiness."
"Well then work there Aria and Noah they Love to dance put them in dance class."
"Ok what about Alec and Marcus."
"Marcus can hang out with me so he can learn everything."
I looked down. "What about Alec."
"He can come."
"Ok now what about Caleb and Alice."
"Really? My wife has been wanting to take them of more then a second."
"Fine."
"Ok so tomorrow call that dance studio and say I want to come back."
"Ok." My kids are what's more important and know one can change that.

I need new friends.
Love you all!!!