in which she swims to forget all the pain, but he sees it all because dallas edlen is not ok and, having loved her for years, seeing that was no task.
ONE BREATH
MINIMINTER
SIDEMEN
DEATHLIES 2016
[COMPLETED]
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
TWENTY ONE d a l l a s
It wasn't as simple as she first thought it would be to kiss him quick to cure the unrelenting interest in him.
There's a point in your life at which you realise things aren't so simple and, for Dallas, that point was when she kissed Simon. Real life isn't a fairy tale. You can't press your mouth against someone else's and the curse of suffering is expelled. That's not how it works. That's never been how it works.
But, somehow, Dallas believed that kissing Simon would cure her of her unfading attraction to him. That getting one taste would satisfy her need, but it only made it worse.
And, as ridiculous as she felt for admitting it to herself, she'd spent all day at home thinking about him that weekend. On the Sunday when she was out with Violet and Marnie looking for dresses for the party that was being thrown the following weekend, all she could think about was what he could possibly be doing in that moment.
She hated herself for it. Tried to bury herself in finding the perfect dress, but all she could think about was how she wanted more than a kiss from him. She wanted to feel his loving touch on her skin, to feel as if she were adored because his eyes made her feel just that in all their crystal blue and caring nature.
And the way he'd kissed her back, held her around the waist was something she could never forget. She never would. She found herself comparing him to James and found him far, far above.
How could she have stuck with James for so long? It made her realise that the feelings she thought she had for James were all false. A fabric of her imagination constructed by the ideas she was supposed to conform to because the popular girl and the popular boy were supposed to be together, so they were.
For how long she hated James, she didn't know. But she was thankful that it was over now because it opened her eyes to the great things in her life.
Now, it was Monday and Mondays meant English class, which she sat beside Simon in and the anticipation of seeing him again made her stomach twist and turn in all directions.
With her pink and purple folders clutched to her chest, she walks in and holds her chin high as if everyone was watching, because they were. Everyone always looked at Dallas because Dallas was the kind of person who carried an aura with herself, unintentionally so.
Her presence was known, whether she liked it or not, that's just who she'd moulded herself into being through the conformities that she thought she should apply herself to. And now she regretted it all, but there was nothing she could do to make the eyes turn away for good.
Simon was already there when she walks in. Just like he was on the first day she'd sat next to him, he was leant over the back of his chair chatting away with Josh and Ethan. Josh looks up, offering her a small smile as she sits down and quietly places her folders on the table.
"Hi, Dallas," Ethan says as she turns around to join in as if it were absolutely normal for her to be talking to them.
"Hi," She murmurs, but her eyes drift to Simon straight away. He hadn't even looked at her yet. Forcing herself to look away, she asks, "So, are you guys coming to the party this weekend?"
Josh laughs. "I don't think we could keep Cal away if we tried."
"Yeah," Ethan agrees, breaking out into a grin that was most certainly contagious. "He's so hooked on Violet it's funny."
"So he likes her then?" Dallas asks, picking at her nails.
"Oh God, yeah," Ethan tells her with a chuckle. "He can't get enough of her."
"I wish I had someone who was like that with me," Dallas says, glancing at Simon for a moment before turning back around and opening up her folder ready to begin the lesson.
-
She felt as if she was going to be sick. He hadn't said a word to her, not even a hello, since she'd sat down. It wasn't that she expected him to be all over her, but a greeting and a smile would have been more than enough, but he couldn't even do that.
Although it was minor, it planted a seed of worry into Dallas' head. Her mind went into overdrive just thinking about why he wouldn't talk to her. There were too many possibilities to count.
They all ran through her head on a continuous loop as the words of the teacher bounced away from her. Slowly, she pulls on her coat and closes her folder as her head swims, no, as her head drowns in too many words to process.
Her throat felt sickly dry as she scoops her folders into her arms, yanks her bag onto her arm and scrapes her chair back, standing suddenly and forcefully. All eyes are on her as she rushes from the room, her lungs feeling as if they were going to explode inside of her ribcage.
There was so much she wanted to say to him and, despite her ambiance, she just couldn't bring herself to sit there and say it. Voicing the mind could frighten even the strongest souls when the fear of rejection was too great. Even the slightest lick of fear could plant the seed for the crumble of what could have been great.
All great things, once built, must come to an end.
