in which she swims to forget all the pain, but he sees it all because dallas edlen is not ok and, having loved her for years, seeing that was no task.
ONE BREATH
MINIMINTER
SIDEMEN
DEATHLIES 2016
[COMPLETED]
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THIRTY ONE d a l l a s
No matter what delights occurred in this life, Dallas always felt that the horrors and the vices would prevail.
She hadn't gone to her next lesson after her session with Morris. Instead she had gone home, not caring that her mum was home. She knew she'd be passed out on the sofa anyway.
It was only at the point where she was lying back in the pool, water lapping around her face and drifting through her hair that she calmed down enough to come to terms with the label she'd been given.
Bipolar -it was worse when it was said out loud. She didn't want to hear it ever again, but now it had been said once, she knew it would be said again and again and again.
Her head hurt with the thought. It spun, she closes her eyes and lets the water hold her steady. Through the water on her face, she couldn't tell she was crying until she felt the sob in her throat.
As she stands, letting her toes touch the bottom of the pool, the sob racks through her body shaking every one of her sturdy bones.
What would her mum say? What would her dad say? She didn't want to think about it, but she did. She did and she hated every moment of it because she didn't want to cry or be who she was, but there she stood in the shallower end of the pool, tears mixing with chlorine and running with more emotion than she'd like to admit.
Dallas was stubborn. Always had been and always would be. It wasn't the label itself that caused the break down. That was just the single strand of straw that broke the camel's back. Combined with her parent's divorce, Allison, James and everything complicated that swelled around her, not only did her back break, it shattered.
-
The aftermath was quiet, but building. Tense as if something were coming and everyone could feel it as they sat around Dallas the next day at lunch.
Dallas had visibly clenched her jaw and her grip on her fork had tightened when Allison had sat down in the seat beside her. She didn't say a word. She just carried on eating her cold pasta without looking up for a second.
"You're not even going to say hello anymore?" Allison quips, looking down at Dallas.
"Allison," James warns, placing his hand on her leg in an attempt to stop it before it even begins.
"What? I'm just joking around with her," Allison retorts, snickering as she lifts her water bottle to her lips. "It's only a bit of fun, James."
Dallas gently puts her fork down and turns to Allison. If looks could kill, Allison would be bleeding out. "I don't know about you, but that's not what I'd call fun. I don't know what you're trying to do, but it's not working."
"Relax, Dallas," Allison says, rolling her eyes and leaning into James. "You've gotten so uptight recently."
Dallas' eyes flicker down to her pasta. She wasn't hungry anymore. "I have to go," She says shortly, standing up swiftly and walking to the door.
When a hand grabs her wrist just as she's about to leave, she whirls around expecting Allison, but James stands there with eyes full of worry and regret. "Are you ok?" He asks at last after a moment shared of just looking at one another with wonder and curiosity.
And in that very moment, everything comes crumpling down. She was looking at the boy she'd loved. Her first love, her first kiss, her first time, her first everything. The tears just filled her eyes, containing everything she never said to him. Everything she should have said to him, but never did.
"No," She whispers softly, shaking her head. And that's all he needs to hear to pull her into the first embrace they'd shared in weeks. His arms around her were familiar and familiar was safe. He didn't ask why she wasn't ok, but that was fine by her. She didn't want to tell him anything, but just knowing he still cared was enough to settle her.
With her arms around his neck, she pulls back from the embrace. "Thank you," She says, filled with honesty. It was the highest level of transparency she'd had for a long time with him.
He smiles, lifting his thumb to her cheeks to wipe away the tears just like he always did. "It's ok, Dal," He tells her softly.
The moment was sweet. Bittersweet, more so. James wasn't hers anymore, but nevertheless it was a moment she would never forget, but the feeling of eyes on her was unshakable.
Looking to the side, she could see Simon sat there with all his friends. They were looking at her, looking at her moment with James and he didn't only look confused, he looked hurt.
And Dallas just turns her eyes away, back to James, giving him a small smile and leaving the hall just as she'd intended to do before. Only now, there was so much more to think about and she wasn't sure whether it was a good thing.
