The Miles Between Us

Claire's Perspective

It's one day before Christmas Eve and after making all the preparations, we are all gathered at the living room. Mr. Steven bought a karaoke machine and he wants us to play and sing a little bit. We can connect our own iPods and all. I excuse myself to go look for my iPod because I already know what I am performing tonight. Yes, performing. I'm in the room I'm staying, just looking for the iPod when Braden comes in.

Braden: You've been really weird today.

Claire: Yeah I know! I'm not feeling that good today I guess.

Braden: Can I tell you a secret?

Claire: Yes, you can.

Braden: You know, I was really jealous yesterday.

Claire: Really?

Braden: Yeah. I really wanted to stop it or change places with Lucas.

Claire: Then why didn't you stop it?

Braden: What?

Claire: Why didn't you stop it? I can't do this anymore. I really thought I could, for you, and I really tried. But, yesterday while I was with Lucas, all I could think was how much I wanted to be with you instead. Braden, I fell in love with you. I don't want to be a secret anymore.

Braden: I just...I can't...I mean...

Claire: Save it. Look I can't do this anymore okay? It's just too painful. You have to decide, if you want me we can't keep being a secret. It just hurts too much.

Braden: But my parents...

Claire: Braden, we only get to live one life; don't waste it on being afraid of what they will say. It's your life and you should live it as you want to.

Braden: *says nothing*

Claire: I hope one day you will be brave enough to do what YOU want and live the life you are dreaming. About us, well your silence made the final decision. 

I run upstairs and take deep breaths to stop the tears that are forming in my eyes. After a few minutes, Braden comes upstairs and we start karaoke night. One by one passes and its Braden turn. He decides on singing Sinatra. Predictable. Throughout the song he looks at me. At the end, I just look away. It's one of the hardest things I have ever done.

Now it's my turn. I stand up shaking. The song I have picked is by Peggy Lee. I dart singing with all my lungs, "I'm confessin' that I love you, tell me, do you love me too? ..."

At all times I keep looking in Braden's direction and I know he is realizing what he just lost. What I lost. 

Later that night I grab my coat, put my boots on, grab my iPod and go outside for some air. Every time I listen to music, I forget about everything else. But this time I can't stop thinking about Braden and this sad song isn't helping either.