My life is a mess. I don't know how I can cope with two kids and have no one to help me, I need my boys, I need them now more than ever but they don't come back for 6-9 months. I need to ring someone, Jai, I'll try Jai first, I don't care who answers I need to talk. The twins were asleep, at least they got some rest. I rang Jai but no one answered. I need someone to talk to I need a friend. I decided to call Louis but no answer. Someone please pick up. Please. I rang Louis again hoping he'd pick up, I waited then he picked up "Louis" I said with a tremble in my voice "No, May it's Harry" I don't know if I should say anything "Are you ok" why is he asking that, he hates me "Um, wheres Louis" was all I could spit out. "He's recording at the moment, but you can talk to me" he said, I don't know if I can "Please tell me what's wrong, are our kids ok" he asked again. This was it, I was about to poor my heart out to the man I'd only ever loved -
"Harry, Please don't hang up and cut me off mid sentence because this is the only time i'm going to say this to you, I know you probably hate me and after what you said to me, it made me feel like I had a stone heart because I don't know how I could do that to someone that I love with all my heart but I did and I know that it will haunt me forever. I hate seeing you and Cara together but I know now that I have no chance, If we could start this all over again, I would but we can't we have to keep on moving forward and I want you to see the kids as often as you can, I know your on tour now and won't be back for 9 months but I want to know that you and Cara have my blessing on the marriage and both of you can see the twins because I guess she's going to be part of the family. I feel so alone at the moment Harry, My mother and Gabbie have just died in a car accident and Jai and the others are on tour and you and the others are on tour and I don't know what to do with myself. I love you Harry and the minute I saw you, I knew you were my only love but obviously that feeling wasn't mutual. I just wanted you to know that even though you weren't in their lives at the beginning, I must of talked about you so much that Alfie's first words were 'Hahree' and Darcy's were 'Dada' .
I stopped after crying for 2 minutes to hear "I have to go, Cara's calling me" Then he hung up, after I just bursted my heart out to him. I'm worthless. I ran up stair to The twins bedroom, "Mummy, are you ok" Alfie asked, I sat down on the floor as they were in their beds. "Fine hunny, go back to sleep".I started to nod of to the sound of my own tears.
I woke up to the sound of the door knocking, What why would someone be knocking at 5 in the morning! I walked downstairs after kissing Alfie and Darcy's head. I looked in the mirror to see my mascara had ran from my tears. I wiped my eyes but it looked even worse, I couldn't be boverd, I opened the door to someone running and hugging me, it was Harry.
