TØP TRASH

2; My favorite TØP songs

So here's my list of my favorite TØP songs, and why.

1) Truce
2) Prove me wrong (technically, this is considered to be by Tyler Joseph, not TØP. Regardless, it's a beautiful song, and I highly recommend you look it up ASAP)
3) Kitchen Sink
4) Before you start your day
5) Screen
6) Fake You Out
7) Guns for hands
8) Goner
9) Fall Away
10) Anathema

OK, so I'll start with Truce.

The first time I heard that song, I legit cried so hard I thought I was gonna burst a lung. And I never cry. I didn't even cry at my grandmother's funeral.

But allow me to rant plz.

The first line

"Now the night is coming to an end."

That alone is powerful, when you give it enough consideration.
Anxiety/depression can make us feel as though each day is a waste of time, like there's no point in even beginning the day.
But if you have lived thru a night that you surely thought would destroy you, you deserve the second chance of another day. Whether its a second chance, or the millionth, you deserve to find a day that stands out. You deserve to see that new day. Each new day is the chance to start over. Each new day is the chance to live. Not just exist. But live.

"I hope I'm not my only friend."

That lyric was like a stab in the heart to me.
A lot of people, sadly, usually, the ones "closest" (family members, schoolmates, friends, etc) do not understand what its like to be you. And knowing that makes you feel very alone. Very. Alone.
At times, more often that perhaps it should happen, it will feel like the only friend we have, is ourselves. And how hard is that, when we're already fighting ourselves to begin with? Its a constant struggle, that always seems like it ends with us being alone.

"Stay alive, stay alive, for me."

OK BUT THIS ONE THO. I SAW MY WHOLE LIFE FLASH BEFORE MY EYES BECAUSE OF HOW HARD THAT HIT TO ME.

Imagine someone you love. It could be anyone. Your mom, dad, sister, brother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, best friend, that random guy at the gas station, your crush, or even your dog. (Or cat, turtle, guinea pig, etc)
Imagine them saying to you "y/n. Stay alive. Stay. Alive. For me."
Imagine you saying that to you.

Stay Alive.

There's so much power and meaning behind that sentence, and its one of the most beautiful things I keep nestled in my mind.
When I feel the weight of everything, when I feel the pain surfacing. I imagine the person I love the most. The one dearest to my heart. I imagine that person saying to me, "stay alive. Stay alive, for me."
And somehow, I find the courage to continue on.
Try it.
Seriously.
Write it on your arm and look at it repeatedly at school.
Write it one a piece of paper, and hang it one your ceiling. Heck, write all the lyrics to this song up there.
It gives me the courage to live another day, and I sincerely hope it can do the same for you.

"You will die, but now your life is free."

Losing someone in death is horrible. Its painful, regardless of how they leave us. You feel a part of you die with them.
But see, if we were to die, all of us would go. But so many pieces of us would stay behind with those we left, but we won't be aware of it. Maybe with people we never thought cared.
Death is tragic, no matter what.
And suicide, is one of the worst ways to lose someone.
When we see no end to our pain, it seems as though suicide is the only answer to those thousands of questions. Its this escape hatch, this crutch we can always consider and eventually use when it gets tough.
Sometimes its not that we want to die, we just want to end the pain.

"Take pride in what is sure to die."

This somewhat goes along with the feelings above.
We never know what havoc could ensue once we're gone. Imagine how devastated your friends would be, blaming themselves for your dying, because perhaps, they couldn't see how much you hurt.
Your parents, for wishing they did something to help you. Before it was to late.
Your siblings, feeling that missing piece in their life that can never be replaced.
Your best friend, wishing he/she helped you, putting all the blame on themselves for your loss, and perhaps eventually taking the same path you did, because living with the guilt of what they were to late at doing was to much for them to take.

If you don't feel the same way about the above sentences for whatever personal reason, think of this.

How would Tyler and Josh feel at hearing a fan had committed suicide?

"The sun will rise and we will try again."

This is what I have taped on my wall over my bedroom window, so its one of the first things I see when I wake up.
Again, its a reminder that each new day is a new chance. The sun always rises, even after the darkest, coldest, loneliest night. And so can we.

"I will fear the night again."

Its a sobering reminder of how we all can come crashing down. But we need those dark moments to help us appreciate the light.

I'll share why I love and what I love about the rest of the listed songs above later, but in the meantime, feel free to share what your favorite TØP songs, and what they mean to you. And feel free to share in any further chapters.

-StayAliveBucky

Quote of the chapter:

"I want to know you,

I want to see,

I want to say,

Hello."

(Trees)

STAY ALIVE |-/