IDENTICAL ➸ nick jonas a.u (niley)

A Letter To Nate

Dear Nate

I am writing to you from my desk in New York, and I hope some way heaven gets this message from me to you.

It's been two years after I had last talked to you, and by talk I mean portray you talking to me and me talking back.

Life has changed so much since then, I'm at a point where everything is going swell for me. There are so many things I want to share with you. Me and Miley are getting married...I remember when we were kids, and Dad would joke about how if one of us gets married and the other becomes the best man the bride could be confused and marry the other twin.

I remember you would get really mad about it because you said you will never marry anyone, but I have to so you can be the 'bestest' man. And I hope you will, in spirits...at least, I really hope you can attend in some way.

These past two years I had dwell on what you last said to me, you said  the idea that there's a piece of you in me, and I know that's what makes me better as a person; the existence of you within me.

Sometimes I get too skeptical about thinking about you fearing that someway I might accidentally make you come back, not the real you of course, but the identity I had suffered, the Nate I imagined torturing me.

My guilt of thinking I had taken your life had drove me to bringing you back...by being you. I guess now the best way to explain why I did that was because I wanted to see how happy you would be, to see you be someone amazing, and that wasn't possible, and I had forced a way to see my expectations of you come to life. I know this disorder had been such a disaster to everyone I'm glad at least you were a part of the pro, the cons were that it led me to a mental hospital, and a whole lot of other things.

I, even though the only one, got to see you in your 20's, achieveing things, being healthy, making friends, no one else saw what I see because nobody was as desperate as me. Even if it wasn't exactly you, it was the thought of you that I had created almost perfectly. You highlighted my days.

But I had to state the obvious to remind myself as well, you were an illusion I'm sorry my twiste mind had created.

Although it did awful to me, I realized now you were my motivation. By being so envious of you I was bettering myself, ever since we were little it was always 'Why can't you be more like Nate?'...so I did. I tried to be more like Nate and I'm a better person than Nick could ever will be, because I became the best person I knew. You.

So thank you, Nate. I wouldn't be here without you, if It wasn't for you I would've never met this lovely lady, my beautiful soon to be wife. I met her through you, through the confidence and charm you inspired me to have as well.

Maybe not many people know you like I do, but I want everyone to know you.

Since I got out of the hospital I began to write, I published a novel a year ago and it was a succes. And it's been one year and I had finished my second book. It's going to be published really soon, I won't be giving any spoilers but the whole concept and idea was purely inspired by you, brother. Picture The Great Gatsby, only greater...that's the character in the book I'll be dedicating to you.

But that's not the only thing, Miley has been doing great for herself as well, she's created so many non-profit organizations, and for this book I teamed up with her...70% of the profit of this book goes straight to charity, an organization for young children suffering from Schizophrenia.

I couldn't be more happier for everything in my life right now, and I miss you a lot, I miss Dad and I hope you're taking care of him up there.

And lastly, thank you once again for this identity you helped me create. I wouldn't be the Nick I am now if you hadn't inspired me ever since we were little to be more like you.

You will always be with me, in my heart, and within my entire being.

Sincerely yours

Nick

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