Kuzey Güney - North & South

..continued

Çemre isn't there alone. She's kissing someone. Someone too familiar. Someone I'd never imagine doing this to me. How? How could this happen? I drop the bag and flowers immediately and just stand still there for what feels like forever.
It takes her a while to notice, but when she does, Çemre looks right at me and her smile slowly fades.
"Kuzey?"
"Kuzey, what're you doing over there?"
Now HE finally turns around to look at me. Güney. My own brother. The brother who I shared my life with is there with the girl I'm in love with.
.
.
.
"Küzey?"  Güney yells out with a sly smile on his face. "What are you doing there? Come here." His expression a little concerned.
I start walking over to the front porch. My heart sinking and my feet seep the floor with such pain I had never experienced before. I feel this heaviness in my chest doubling with each step. 

"What's up? what are you doing here?" inquires Guney. I can't help but stare at Cemre and back at Guney as I try to force words out of my mouth. "I..." I feel like screaming, crying, running as far away as possible. "I just came by to..." I continue, "to wish you...good luck for tomorrow." I stare at the ground as Cemre smiles at Guney and then back at me, "That's why Guney is here as well." she goes on, "we were just going over some topics together." 

"yes" agrees Guney. They can't help smiling at each other. feeling totally in love.

"what's wrong? why are you so surprised?" says Cemre

my chest feels heavy. I find myself at a loss of words once again. Slightly fidgeting, I say, "so that means...you two..." I can't believe this is real. how can it be? I continue, "Are you guys..." 

Cemre looks back up at Guney and asks, "You didn't tell him?" 

"Why didn't you tell me?" I say to him. I'm feeling more annoyed than sad now. how could he do this to me? my own brother? 

"I don't know..." he says carelessly. "I mean I didn't think it mattered." 

"I..." I look down again. "I don't understand." Guney gives me his best smile yet again as if everything is perfect.

"It's not like we're really hiding it, everyone at school pretty much knew about it already." Cemre explains. She gives him a short kiss on the lips again and I feel torn. I can't help but look away as soon as possible finding someone already staring at me. Cemre's mom gives me a very concerned look from the front of the porch making me feel like she can sense how I feel.

"anyway I'll leave you two to it then. Good luck for the exam tomorrow." I try to head out as fast as possible ignoring Cemre, who tries to make me stay.

"I'll see you later." I call out as I walk past Cemre's mother. 

the tears force their way out and I try to hold them back in, finding the flowers and gift on the floor right next to the big dumpster. Throwing the bag in and kicking away the flowers, I rush my way back home. 

My thoughts don't let me breathe and it's past sunset by the time I reach home. How could this be? how did I not see this coming? my brother, whom I share everything with, did THIS to me? HOW?

As I open the door to my house, Dad awaits me with his lasting disappointed look. "Easy, easy!" "where were you?" he adds. I head upstairs, ignoring him. "Answer me, Kuzey!"

"Kuzey I'm talking to you, don't make me come upstairs." He continues.

I hurry upstairs. I just want to be alone. "Kuzey..." I hear my mother's hesitant voice. "What happened? Did you get into a fight again?" She yells out behind me. I skip a step while continuing upstairs. I can't let anyone see me like this. "Your father has been waiting for you all day. You said you'd help him but you disappeared." She doesn't stop. I close the bedroom door behind me to make her voice go away, but it doesn't. "That photographer came to ask for his money. He insulted your father, said you didn't pay him." I punch the door when I realize where the money went. The money I spent on Cemre's flowers and gift.