Lies don't Lie

Aloofness

It's dark when I wake up.

The insides of my eyelids scratch and scrape like sandpaper as I peel them open. There’s the light roaring of the vehicles below the building almost hurting the insides of my ear as I try to adjust my sight in the sudden disruption. I can’t quite figure it out as to why I’m alone in my bed and my back felt so cold against the sheets. The last thing I remember was the loud explosions accompanied by Santana’s tears rolling down her cheeks before she disappeared in my sight and by that everything turned black.

My heart is soaring as I recall how she looks by the moment those words escaped my lips, her lips were quivering and her eyes were gloomy and dull. The way her voice cracked when she asked me that one question, the way her eyes linked with mine when she took that single step, the warmth of her breath that hit my lips, and the way she looked at me before she finally walked away.

The throbbing of my chest seems too heightened every time I tried to move, and my limbs felt raw like it’s about to fall of any second. With a deep breath I took a glance on my nightstand revealing that it’s just 3:07 in the morning. And I literally froze when my eyes landed on my phone lying beside it. My chest began pounding beyond normal as the thought of calling Santana, the quivering of my fingers were almost unbearable when I finally held my phone. The brightness struck my eyes when I tapped it open and I can’t help but held my breath when a picture of me and Santana appeared.

I literally closed my eyes before I flutter it open composing enough courage for me to type her phone number. It seem to take like forever waiting for the other line to answer whilst I got my fingers clutching the bed sheets until it’s practically white. Until the last ring I almost passed out when it went straight to her voicemail and by that the familiar lump once again ignited down my throat, my mouth seemed dry and my voice seemed out.

“Santana, please answer the phone.” I pleaded silently propping my elbow resting my back against the headboard. My eyes seemed to be burning under the darkness as I once again typed her phone number, this time it automatically went straight to her voicemail, hearing her voice made my heart flutter and by a split second everything seemed to be fine.

Yes, this is Santana. I can’t pick up my phone right now, I’m probably eating rainbows and pooping flowers, so yea I’ll call you later. Irritation is obviously dripping in her voice, I remember when I ordered her to change her boring voicemail record with this where she almost tackled me but she did it anyways so.

“San, just please answer the phone.” I pleaded, my voice cracking with the exertion. With the last ring I heaved a sigh expecting for Santana’s voicemail to reach my ear but after a second or two there’s the shattering silence from the other line.

“San?” I started with low voice. I closed my eyes when no one answered thinking that it was already disconnected but when I heard a sigh from the other end, my heart started pumping gallons of blood through my brain and I can’t think straight.

“San, I know you’re there. Can we just talk? Please.” Nothing.

“San.” I croaked there’s already the prickle of warm tears rolling down my cheeks. “I know you’re mad, but can you just tell me if you’re okay, or where are you? San I’m worried, very. I know that you have so many questions you wanted to ask and I don’t know how I will manage to answer those, but I’ll try my best. I know that you’re all confused and everything… just please stay safe? Please. I love you so much, Santana. You’re my everything and I don’t know how will I ever live again without you.” and by that I disconnected the call, the phone weakly fell from my hand before I closed my eyes trying to throw every single thought blurring my mind out the window.